Thursday, March 15, 2007

Rules of Syringement

One more sleep.

I'm so excited!

Fear cluthched my heart when I saw a Winter Storm Warning for tomorrow. What's weird is there was also a warning the day before my surgery, two weeks ago. Maybe Mother Nature is trying to mess with me. Luckily the snow isn't supposed to start until late in the day and my appointment is early.

My last syringe supper was potatoes and gravy. I think I will never eat that again. Ever. Soup either. I may have an egg for breakfast tomorrow and that should be the LAST TIME I have to eat that way. Soft-chew diet, how I love you.

Eating through a syringe takes effort. It can be time-consuming, lonely, messy, frustrating, and unappetizing. There are times when the substance you want to suck up gets plugged and you want to throw the syringe across the room. There are times when your food squirts out too fast and it goes all over your face. There are times when blended food just does not taste as good as it smells. A huge part of the enjoyment of eating is the appearance of the food. Blended chicken and broccoli does not look good.

Some positive things have come out of my liquid/semi-mushed diet these past two weeks, such as:

1. I discovered that I actually like Carnation Instant Breakfast and will probably continue to drink them.
2. I have more energy because almost everything I take in has tons of nutrients.
3. I successfully battled my Pepsi addiction.
4. I probably won't eat as much junk food as I did before.
5. I lost a whole lot of cellulite.
6. This was a huge test in patience and strength, and even though I complained a lot, at least I didn't go stark-raving mad (yet).
7. It made me appreciate eating, talking, yawning and brushing my teeth SOOOO much.
8. I sleep better because I take in virtually no caffeine.
9. Not being able to talk so much or do too much gave me a lot of time to think, read, and watch TV, even though I watched so much Friends, Seinfeld and True Hollywood Story that I could recite the dialogues of every episode.
10. My creativity flourished and grew. Who knew you could eat salsa and cheese chicken through a tiny little hole?

So. I'm not sure if tomorrow I will toss my syringes in the garbage, or keep them to remember this time of my life. My new chin serves as a good enough reminder, so maybe I will toss 'em.

I literally feel like I could eat a steak right now if my bands were off. My jaws feel strong, but at this point very tired from being clenched for so long. I can't wait to start my jaw exercises. Open...insert food....close. Open...insert food...close.


At 9:33 PM, Blogger Mrs. Shanton said...

Huh, I was just imagining you reciting Seinfeld through clenched teeth. Shusshing and spitting, "Deloris?" Hahhahahahah!

At 9:37 AM, Blogger Rebecca said...

LOL! Steph, with your sense of humor I KNEW you had to watch Seinfeld. ;-)


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