My Step-By-Step Journey Into Braces & Orthognathic Surgery

Update, 4+ years post-surgery

2011-06-20T08:30:00.016-03:00

Some people have asked for updates on how I'm doing now, over 4 years after my surgery.

First, a comment I got yesterday from CeCe:

During my first stint of pre-op craziness, I researched hundreds (literally) of blogs...Your blog was BY FAR the most useful one out of all of them. Your attention to details was amazing. Just curious...Has your life really changed a lot since surgery, or have you just gotten so used to a "new normal" that you really don't notice any difference??

I'm so happy to read that! It means a lot. I worked so hard on this blog.

My life has changed somewhat since my surgery. I have way less pain. My jaw problems are now non-existent. No cracking at all. My TMJ is healed. I do still get migraines but they went from 1-2 a month pre-surgery to one every 3 months or so, almost always hormonal.

As for my looks, I'm more confident for sure. I still, 4 years later, love my chin and look at it/touch it often. I love my profile. My smile is still a little goofy, I think, but it's much improved. I think I was used my "new normal" very soon after surgery. These days, I don't even think about it, and I have to actually struggle to remember when my surgery was.

I got my braces off over 3 years ago and I still wear my retainers every single night. My teeth are in the exact same position they were when the braces came off. I take very good care of them. Brush 2-3 times a day, floss almost every day, use anti-bacterial mouthwash. I'm still using the same retainers and they've gotten pretty nasty-looking, but I keep them clean. They have little cracks near the molar parts and are all scratched up, but they do the job. I plan to get my dentist to make me new ones soon, which I will wear every night until I die.

It's amazing to me that people are still interested in this blog and how I'm doing. I think orthognathic surgery is becoming more common now. I remember back when I started researching it because, honestly, I was scared out of my wits about it and wanted to read some success stories. I'm grateful that I was able to write my own success story for others to read

Thank you, 3 years later!

2011-06-19T10:36:00.003-03:00

Just wanted to make a quick post thanking everyone who has commented on this blog. I never dreamed it would help so many people and get so many visits. I still consider this surgery to be one of the best thing I've ever done.

Please feel free to email me or comment. I love to answer questions!

In a nutshell

2008-06-25T09:19:00.005-03:00

It's been almost 6 months since I got my braces off and it's been quite the adjustment. I don't know how average this is, but my teeth and bite didn't feel like "my own" for about 4 months post-debracing. About a month or so ago was when I realized I was finally used to my new teeth, bite and smile, and it felt right. My teeth tried to move back to their original positions pretty vigorously during the first few months. But now, they seem happy in their new place. That bottom tooth that took ages to move is still missing its old home though. That's the only tooth that yells at me when I slip my retainers on at night.

As for my retainers, next month I am allowed to drop down to 6 nights a week as opposed to 7. But I won't. I plan to wear them every night, without fail, for as long as possible.

Even after my alveoplasty, despite my surgeon taking off tons of bone, my face is still crooked. But I do not care. For the first time in a very long time, I accept how I look. Sometimes I even like how I look. The low self-esteem and self-depreciation is still there, but it has improved a lot. I'm still completely infatuated with my chin. Yes, it's MY chin now. I barely remember being without it, and when I see old pics of myself, it startles me a little. I don't think about it much, but I still sneak peeks at my profile once in a while.

As for jaw pain, it's practically non-existent. I still get the pops and cracks sometimes when I open my mouth, but I can't even remember the last time I had a joint flare-up. Maybe they are healing themselves. My bite feels great and there's no more straining or posturing going on.

Now that's it's all behind me, I can still honestly say it was all incredibly worth it. Life has gone on. I'm used to the new me, so much that I no longer feel new. Just normal. Which is what I've always wanted.

Thanks to everyone, my friends, family, other bloggers, for reading and commenting and showing your support. For people who are researching orthognathic surgery and come across this blog, I hope it helps. Feel free to contact me anytime.

Alveoplasty vs. Orthognathic Surgery

2008-03-28T19:17:00.005-03:00

Alveoplasty wins by a mile!

Is anyone still reading this blog? LOL

Today I got to the hospital at 9am for my alveoplasty. Talk about deja vu. Same dressing room, same johnny shirts, same paper slippers as last time. Same millions of questions, asked by three separate people, over and over again. Same hour of waiting, freezing to death in my hospital gown, before the anesthetist came in to talk to me, followed by Dr. C with his handy consent form, corny jokes, and ever-present smile. Last time he told me to pretend I was on Grey's Anatomy, this time he told me he was doing a "bumpectomy" on me. Such a comedian. But I do love that man, he's awesome.

I had a different anesthetist this time, a younger man who looked exhausted and promised me anti-nausea meds. Yay!

I did the "OR walk" with my glasses on this time and I got to see all the shiny objects, saws, blades, and all that fun stuff. Just like last time, I hopped up on the table, a nurse tied me down, I got my IV, monitor patches (those things itch me!), etc. There was this funny moment when the anesthetist asked for tape to secure my IV needle and a nurse joked around and said "Tape is overrated." and he said "We don't want it to fall out." and I'm like, "NO, please for God's sake don't let it fall out!" Heh.

Another funny moment was when one nurse told another nurse that I was having the bumps on my jaw smoothed down and I said, "Yeah, I'm having a bumpectomy." Everyone laughed and I said that's what Dr. C had called it and one nurse goes "Oh, so Dr. Phil called it that." I giggled at their nickname for him. Phillip is his first name, of course, but considering his last name is hard to pronounce, everyone apparently calls him Dr. Phil.

Then a nurse put an oxygen mask on me. I was pretty tense and shaky for some reason (What was up with that, I'm an old pro at this!) so she held my hand, which calmed me right down. I'm not sure if she had to hold my hand for some medical reason, or if she was just being nice, but it helped nonetheless. After that I remember getting woozy and the next thing I knew, I was awake and someone was saying, "Rebecca, the surgery is over and everything went great."

I had a hard time breathing when I woke this time, and I was shaking like a leaf. I told the nurse I was cold and she brought me a warm blanket. I had an ice pack on my face. I felt numb and groggy but not sick. As my blood pressure climbed, I began to be able to take in a deep breath. Within a few minutes I was completely alert, and STILL NOT SICK. Dr. C breezed by to see me and told me everything went well and that I had a line of stitches above my upper teeth.

I spent about 15 minutes wide awake in recovery and saw the most interesting things. I don't remember recovery at all last time. This time, they wheeled a young woman in who had just gotten her wisdom teeth taken out under anesthesia, and she was crying and screaming that she couldn't breathe, retching horribly and trying to get out of bed. Two nurses had to hold her down and try to calm her. Poor lady.

So I got my BP checked a few more times, got rid of my IV and oxygen finger-pincher thingie, and they wheeled me into the day surgery waiting room. My husband came to sit with me and I had some ginger ale. I felt fine and STILL NOT SICK. This had me pleasantly surprised. The nurse went over my post-op instructions with me. No hot foods, no rinsing, no spitting, just cold liquids and soft stuff like yogurt for today. 600mg of Advil every 6 hours for 3 days. Tomorrow I start rinsing with salt water and eating things like soup. Can't wait.

I am swollen now, and the feeling is returning. I wore my retainers for a couple of hours this afternoon, all the while fearing they may get permanently stained with blood, but they seem okay. I've taken in chocolate milk, a milkshake, yogurt, and apple sauce. I am starving, but I can hardly complain. Last year I did this for two weeks. I can easily handle two days.

So, compared to last year's surgery, this has been a breeze so far. I won't know if it made any difference until the swelling goes down, but I am hopeful. Even Dr. C said again today before the surgery that it probably won't make much of a difference, no will even notice it, but even if it's a small improvement, I will know. I will be pleased.

Off to eat something soft and cold.

Alveoplasty tomorrow

2008-03-27T09:35:00.003-03:00

That word brings to mind Alvin and the Chipmunks for me. I guess I will look like a chipmunk when it's all over.

Tomorrow I go under again for my bone-shaping surgery. More anesthesia (puke), more swelling (yuck), more soft foods (sigh), more Tylenol 3 (puke again), and more stitches in my mouth (ouch). But alas, my crooked noseness may finally be fixed. I say "may" because Dr. C reminds me that he can only work with bone, and I may have excess tissue there as well that he can't fix. That's okay. As long as there's some kind of improvement, I'll be happy.

I shall update you all when I get home tomorrow (day surgery rocks) and after I stop hurling from the anesthesia. Ugh.

1 year anniversary

2008-03-02T11:13:00.003-04:00

It's been one year since I went under the knife and emerged with a new face and a new life. This past year has changed me as a person, inside and out. Can you believe I still feel my new chin, every single day, to make sure it's still there? Can you believe still I smile at myself in the mirror, every single day, to see my new smile? I look at old pictures of myself and feel a mixture of relief and astonishment. I don't remember looking like that and I'm glad I don't anymore.

I'd do it all over again with zero hesitation.

Above are pictures of my hubby and me, about six weeks ago. He has lost 50 or more pounds in the past few years, so we both look dramatically different from the day we were married 9 years ago. It's the new, improved us. :)

I would give you a picture today, but I have pink eye. Fun! These will have to do.

More surgery

2008-02-09T10:04:00.000-04:00

On March 28th, I'm getting the excess bone shaved down on my upper left jaw. Dr. C thinks this will help with the asymmetry, but not completely fix it. He says I might have thicker tissue there as well that he, of course, can't fix.

It's an outpatient surgery, done in the hospital (for insurance purposes, meaning it's covered and I don't have to pay a cent). I will be put under, he will make an incision, expose the bone, and chip it away. The surgery is at 10am and I should be out of there by noon. Recovery will take about 3 days. I'm getting it done on a Friday, which is good.

I'm not looking forward to the swelling and the predicted puking after the anesthesia, but I will be glad to get it done. My face has always been crooked, but my surgery exaggerated it and I can see it clearly in pictures. It's crooked to a noticeable degree. Dr. C left the decision for this up to me. He told me I don't need it, per se, but if I want it done he will do it. I want it done!

Otherwise, he's very happy with how everything turned out, as am I. I can't believe it'll be a year on March 2!

5 days of being daytime retainer-free

2008-02-05T20:16:00.000-04:00

If anyone is still reading this, you must be sick of hearing about my retainers already.

Okay, so as you recall, I had two weeks in the Essexes fulltime, and then I could wear them just at night. Friday was my first day sans retainers all day. In the evening, when I popped them back in, my bottom teeth started SCREAMING. Actually, I could barely get the bottom retainer on, my teeth had moved so much. After 10 hours!

Five days later, it's still happening. If I am without retainers for more than 6 hours or so, my nerves pay for it. Especially that one bottom tooth that was so crooked and took soooooo long to straighten. It wants to go back home.

So I figure my teeth aren't really ready, and I'm wearing my retainers for about 15 hours a day. I wear them all morning (after coffee and breakfast), leave them out all afternoon, and put them back in around 8pm.

When, oh when, do my teeth stop moving and rebelling? Can anyone tell me?

Retainers--1 week later

2008-01-24T10:55:00.000-04:00

I've been in my Essixes for a week now and I thought I'd update my progress. Everything is going well. I noticed the other day that one of my front top teeth moved a bit. Before I got my retainer molds, Dr. J shaved my two front teeth down to look even. Now they aren't anymore, and I have no idea how that happened, since the retainer keeps my teeth still. Argh!

Caring for my retainers: Let me just say it's easier than caring for my braces! It's annoying sometimes having to pop them out when I eat and drink anything other than water, but I am sick right now and not eating much anyway. Every morning I brush my retainers, and every night I soak them in Polident Retainer cleaner. This stuff rocks. It's meant for Hawleys, but it gives the Essix ones a good cleaning too. It's mainly baking soda. It keeps the odor and plaque away.

I can feel my teeth pushing against the retainers sometimes, and it gives me this weird sense of satisfaction to, I don't know, restrain them back. You're not going anywhere, suckers! Bwaa ha ha. They're trying go go back to the way they used to be, you know. But I won't let them. So there. I wonder how long it will take for my bones and muscles to give up and let my teeth settle in their new position. I do have stubborn bones, you see. Just like the rest of me.

I have one more week of wearing them full-time and then I can switch to night time only. But I probably won't. I'll most likely pop them in during the afternoon and evening too, for another month or so. A few extra hours here and there can't hurt.

In a couple of weeks I'm going to the dentist for a cleaning. I really need one!

A note about flossing since getting my braces off...it is so freaking easy and quick! I can floss in 3 seconds. It's awesome.

Retainers

2008-01-17T11:36:00.000-04:00

I have the clear ones that look like Invisalign. I heard the wire Hawleys are better, but these are fine so far. Up close, my teeth look like they're encased in Saran Wrap, but you wouldn't notice from a distance. They feel okay, not very bothersome. I was expecting a lot worse.

So that's basically it. I go back to Dr. J in April for a recheck. I go to my surgeon Dr. C in a couple of weeks for another recheck, and to discuss shaving excess jaw bone down on my left side, to fix my crooked-face-itis.

Now, on to the joy of retainers. I wear them full-time for 2 weeks, then every night for...well, the rest of my life. I eat a lot due to my consistent low blood sugar, like every 2-3 hours, so this is going to be a pain in the rear. Ah well, I've been through worse, right? Remember those two weeks of not eating at all? I do. Vividly. This is a walk in the park, comparatively.

Hope you're all doing well!

I never was good at predictions...

2008-01-16T12:24:00.000-04:00

I AM BRACE-FREE!

Those little problems, like the tiny gaps, they were able to fix right there in the office, in a few minutes, with a tight power chain. Then Dr. J did some more reshaping.

Getting the brackets knocked off was a breeze, but the scraping...oh my, the scraping. Ouch. Not painful as much as plain uncomfortable.

I got my molds done for my retainers and I pick them up tomorrow. So I have 24 hours of being brace and retainer free and it feels lovely. :)

My smile isn't perfect and it never will be without thousands of dollars worth of veneers and crowns and whitening, but it is a vast...VAST improvement over what my teeth looked like 2 years ago.

I can't believe it's almost over!

Just a prediction...

2008-01-15T12:49:00.000-04:00

The braces are NOT coming off tomorrow. No one has told me this, and I haven't been checked by a professional, but my teeth have moved in the past few days. They were perfect on Thursday, but not anymore. I have small gaps, and my bite feels a little off. I don't want my braces taken off until my teeth are as perfect as humanly possible.

Oh well. Maybe next week, after a few days with a power chain. I will update tomorrow.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008, 10:00am

2008-01-10T12:39:00.000-04:00

Yes, folks. That is the day these braces come OFF. Yippee!

Dr. J actually wanted to take the suckers off today because my teeth are ready, but I had time constraints, and four other people had gotten their braces off this morning and they were backed up with retainers, so we put it off a week. That's okay. I did almost two years...I can do one more week. I have some flashy metallic blue ligatures on for the week, so I can go out in style.

Dr. J also shaved some of my teeth down today so they all match up and stuff. It didn't hurt at all, but I hate the smell of burning teeth. Ew.

Six. More. Days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Holidays

2007-12-23T11:40:00.001-04:00

I wanted to wish everyone happy holidays, but I also wanted to say how pleased I am about the numerous comments and emails I have been getting lately about my blog. Apparently I'm on google. ;)

Some have said how my blog has given them hope, and calmed them down. That's exactly why I started this over a year ago. I know that back when I was in the learning stages, I would have devoured "personal experiences" blogs like this. I'm so grateful and happy that my experiences can help other people with theirs.

A lady named Shanna wrote this in my guest book: I have searched a million websites and nothing has been as helpful as this!

That means the world to me, thank you.

I've received more guest book entries and comments on my posts, asking me questions, and since there are no emails to go along with those questions, I thought I'd answer them here.

For Jennifer Townsend, who wrote in my guest book the following:

I am going to have orthognathic surgery on January 9th. I am very nervous because I am have a low tolerance for pain and I just read that they may have to put in a soft catheter. My doctor said the surgery would last 2 1/2 hours. Did you have to have a soft catheter put into your bladder? I am really freaked out about that. If so, did they put it in and remove it while you were under anesthesia?

No, I did not have a catheter. I've read it depends on how long you will be under anesthesia. I was only under a couple of hours. I also read that if you do need a catheter, they will put in it while you are under and take it out before you wake up.

Good luck on the 9th, Jennifer. :)

And a comment on my last post, by Nitin:

After reading your posts on this blog i have gotten some hope. How strange is it for an orthodontist with a bad bite to have the similar surgery that you have had (minus the genio). I hate admitting it but i cried myself to sleep for the last two days (surgery on the 20th). How will I ever get better? Especially with this splint in! I drink liquids they come out my nose. I try to swallow and my throat hurts. Any words of advice?

Hi there. You're only two days in your recovery...the first week is the worst, but trust me it gets so much better. It's really frustrating at times, isn't it? If you read my blog entries during my first week of recovery, you can see how frustrated I was too. I was tired of everything. Day 3-4 are generally the worst, but you should be able to see the light after a week. Just take care of yourself, take your meds, drink as much as you can and try to get some nutrition into your body. Believe me, you don't want dehydration on top of this.

My throat and ears hurt for a few days too. Maybe try some warm tea with honey? I didn't have a splint so I have no idea about that, but it does sound yucky.

It WILL get better. Hang in there. :)

That's all for now. Have a great holiday, everyone.

December update

2007-12-05T18:21:00.000-04:00

Okay, it's been about 9 months since my surgery. I'm doing great still. No problems. Joint pain is lessened significantly, though this surgery has not helped my sinuses. I have gotten as many infections in the past few months as I have pre-surg. Oh well. Nasonex is my bestest friend.

I said a few posts ago that I would be getting my braces off in December. I won't be. They'll be staying on until at least February. I saw Dr. J today and he said my bite was *nearly* perfect. The only way it would be super perfect was if they left little spaces in my upper teeth and I got veneers to build them up. Um, nuh uh. They cost $1700 EACH. I'd rather have Dr. J close up my gaps and have a 99% perfect bite, for "free". Please and thank you.

So it will take two or so more visits to get my teeth as straight as possible. My debracing should run parallel with my one-year anniversary of surgery (March 2).

Dr. J said that three months after my debracing, they will do another x-ray and look at my joints. If I am still having pain, he will refer me to someone who will fine tune the hell out of my bite. I forget what he called him. Someone who will file down my teeth so my upper and lower jaw meet perfectly together. This isn't covered on insurance, I don't think. I hope I don't need it.

So now I have a power chain and power thread closing my gaps (again). I'm sore, but not as bad as the adjustment in September. I have also been wearing two elastics for the past 6 weeks and have to wear them for 6 more. But only at night, thank God.

I'm about ready to be done with all this orthodontia.

Oh and Steph, if you read this, I can't get into your blog! Please may I have access?

How Jaw Surgery Has Changed My Life (or Not)

2007-10-15T21:07:00.000-03:00

It's been over 7 months now since I got my new face. One year ago, when I'd fantasize about having a chin and nice smile for the first time in my life, I'd envision myself as suddenly this New Person. Confident, happy, less socially awkward, et cetera. However, in all the Extreme Makeover fantasies, I seemed to push the real truth out of my mind. And that real truth? Confidence comes from within. Seriously. That has been the most important, eye-opening thing I have learned in the past few months. A new face isn't going to make me more confident and less self-conscious. It is 100%, completely up to me.

I know I sound like Dr. Phil, but it's so true. Becoming better-looking didn't magically transform my personality. Just like the people who go in for gastric bypass, who think being thin is the golden ticket to a lifetime of happiness, only to find out that once they're thin, they still feel fat inside. I can relate to that. Sometimes I still feel unattractive inside. It shocked me when I realized that feeling attractive is much, much more a mental thing than a physical one.

I certainly am more confident now, but I can honestly say that the surgery part of transforming myself has been the easy part. After so many years of low self-esteem and feeling ugly, it takes a lot more than a new chin and smile to fix it. It helps, yes, but there is still so much more work for me to do before I feel comfortable in my own skin. And I'm not talking about plastic surgery here.

My surgery has changed my life, just not like I thought. It's taught me a lot about myself and other people. I may not have come out the other side of my swelling as a different person, but it was a good place to start.

Fine tuning and closing the gaps

2007-09-14T09:37:00.000-03:00

It's official--I am sick of my braces and I want them OFF. Most days I don't even know they're there, but after an adjustment like yesterday's, I'm very much aware of them. I haven't been in so much pain since I first got them on. Can't chew at all. It hurts just sitting here doing nothing. My teeth ache. They're rebelling against me. They are saying "Oh God, we have to move again? Just let us BE!" But hey, they are as straight as piano keys (which is why I find "fine tuning", what the ortho assistant said she was doing to my teeth yesterday, so fitting).

Sorry I skipped my 6 month update, but it was Labor Day weekend, the in-laws were here and it was kind of busy. Then my kids started school and I just forgot about my blog, which I'm sure many of you have as well (does anyone still read this thing?)

So I am 6 months and 12 days post-op today. Nothing exciting or startling has happened in the past few months. Like I said, my braces are bugging me. I've had them since April 2006 and they are due to come off sometime near December. Everything is looking really good. My teeth have never been so straight in all my life. My bite felt great up until yesterday and now it feels off again, as it often does right after an adjustment.

Yesterday at my appointment they decided to close up the gaps on my top teeth. So I have a power chain on there, AND power thread binding two teeth together on each side. Did I mention it hurts? Oh. My. God. My nerves are on fire, so tingly that it goes right through my entire body. I can't even chew bread. I was planning on making pot roast tonight, but that's out. It's soft foods for me today.

All that needs to be done now is the fine tuning, like I said. A few more appointments, a few more tweaks, and then...retainer time!

5 months post-op update

2007-08-02T10:09:00.000-03:00

No picture this month because nothing has really changed, but I will post pics for my big 6 month next month.

Okay, one thing has changed. I noticed yesterday that more of my upper teeth show when I smile now. Even a little gum is showing, though not the 4mm they say is supposed to show. It looks better. Not sure if some scar tissue flattened out, or if all my eating has loosened my muscles, or what. I should post a teeth pic soon! My teeth are straighter right now than they have ever been. My bite feels great. My gums have almost totally regained feeling. Still numb in a few spots on top, and in one spot on bottom, above my genio incision. Teeth are still very sensitive. I have to use sensitive teeth toothpaste every time I brush.

I had wicked bad sinus congestion yesterday, but I still find they drain more quickly now. For some reason, my nose always feels a little tingly and itchy now. I have no idea why.

My nose is still crooked, of course, because of the excess bone on my left side. I'm very anxious to find out what Dr. C says when I get my braces off, if he will want to shave that extra bone down. Hope so.

I can't believe it's been 5 months. I forget about my surgery often now. Everyone is used to the way I look. My in-laws haven't seen me in person yet since the surgery, but they will in a couple of weeks when we all go on vacation together. For people who know me really well and have looked at my old face for years, it's usually weird for them at first.

Oh and Steph, I agree, lipstick does look better when you have straight teeth! It will look even better when my straight teeth are rid of all the silver.

Well on my way to a de-bracing

2007-07-26T18:59:00.000-03:00

Saw Dr. J today for an adjustment. Well, his assistant anyway. Dr. J was in a consult. No, I don't have a de-bracing date yet (I wish!), but remember that stubborn little toofer that wouldn't move? Well, over the past 4 or 5 weeks, it has moved. Yay! That was the biggest hurdle we needed to cross. No more loop in the bottom wire...she popped the bracket off the stubborn tooth because it wasn't centered, put a new one on, and now I have a nice, straight wire across the bottom. I'd had that loop thing pulling on that tooth for sooo many months.

Now all they need to do is round out my bottom arch and close a gap on the top. I want to be brace-free by December!

Everything is going well. I'll be 5 months post-op next week, so I will do an official update then.

4 months post-op update

2007-07-02T19:45:00.001-03:00

4 months pics, complete with a slightly sunburned nose from being outside all day at an outdoor concert yesterday.

Well, you got most of my update in my last few posts. Nothing new, really. Some parts of my gums have feeling now. As you can see, my face is still lopsided. I've been doing my "kissing exercises" as Dr. C calls them.

My teeth are moving like crazy. I read somewhere they move a lot faster right after surgery. There was even a % but I can't remember. Anyway, they have been poking the insides of my mouth. I can't wait to get them off. Can you believe it's been TWO SUMMERS now that I haven't been able to eat corn on the cob (and no, I will NOT cut it off the cob! Blasphemy!)? How cruel is that.

I find myself forgetting I had surgery now. It feels like something that happened years ago. I don't feel I look "different" anymore...just like myself.

This made my day

2007-06-26T17:23:00.001-03:00

I was at the Clinique counter today buying foundation and the makeup lady said to me, "You have the most wonderful bone structure!"

No one has ever said that to me before...ever.

I didn't tell her about my surgery and the fact that my bone structure was manipulated into this. I just smiled and said thanks. :)

No plate removal for me

2007-06-25T15:18:00.000-03:00

Yay!

I saw Dr. C today. I shared with him my concerns about my crooked nose and the possibility of inflammation around my plates. He poked around my face for a while and manually pushed hard on one side of my nose. It wasn't pleasant. Dr. C said sometimes during orthognathic surgery, the tube that goes in the nose sometimes slightly deviates the septum and it heals that way. But I've always had a crooked nose. I just didn't notice until now because pre-op, I rarely looked at pics of myself. I rarely even took pics of myself.

Dr. C said that certain symptoms usually go along with inflamed plates (that sounds funny, I picture dinner plates on fire, hehe), like swelling, pain, etc. I don't have any pain or numbness at all, anywhere. He said the plates felt fine, my tissue looked fine, everything was fine and normal. Then he mentioned that I have a lot of bone on my upper jaw and they didn't do any bone-shaving at all during surgery. And that I have a little more bone on my left side than my right, which is probably causing the asymmetry. He said that after my braces come off, he can shave that bone down if I want. I might consider that in a few months.

He also said that my asymmetry wouldn't really be noticable to the Average Joe, that only people who looked at me all the time could tell anything was amiss, and that most people had facial asymmetry naturally (I knew this).

So everything is A-OK. No new info, really, but I'm glad I talked to Dr. C. He didn't brush off my concerns or tell me I was being silly and I liked that. I don't see him again until I get my braces off and have my retainer.

I remember writing in this blog, many many week ago, about my crooked noseness and I wouldn't mind if it stayed that way forever because I loved my new jawline so much. I still feel that way. Even if I'm not 100% happy with every single thing about my appearance since this surgery, it was still immensely, incredibly, insanely worth it.

I can't keep a straight face.

2007-06-13T20:38:00.000-03:00

Ha ha.

Okay, so I saw Dr. J today for an adjustment. Nothing new there. One bottom tooth refuses to move, so more pressure added there. Otherwise my bite is fine.

Anyway, Dr. J asked if I had any concerns or problems at this point in my recovery. I mentioned my crooked nose, of course. He had me stand up and looked at me straight on, and he agreed that I had some asymmetry. He said at this point (15 weeks post-op) it's probably not swelling causing this asymmetry. He also said my midline was fine (whatever that means). Then he said that I may have some inflammation around the plate on the left side of my nose. He said my tissue may be considering that plate a foreign body and reacting to it. I was told before that my tissue wouldn't reject titanium, but I digress. He started pushing on the skin around my nose and asked if it hurt, and I said no. There's no pain or noticable swelling there, so he doesn't suspect infection of any kind.

Long story short, I have to make an appointment with Dr. C. Depending on what he thinks, it's possible I may have to have this plate removed. Which, as Dr. J said, takes about 20 mins and should fix the problem. I was thinking, "Oh man, not more surgery and swelling!" But I'm assuming it's not a big deal, at least not as big a deal as my surgery. No bones are being sawed into, for instance. So if that's what I have to do, I'm fine with that.

Considering all the things I'm reading lately on the Yahoo board and blogs about the problems others are having after their surgeries, this is a pretty minor deal.

Oh and...NO MORE EVIL ELASTIC BANDS FOR ME! Woo hooooo! I can flick those suckers into the garbage. They did their job.

3 months post-op

2007-06-02T15:50:00.000-03:00

That's the only smile pic you're getting, a far away one, because I still don't like my smile very much (though it's getting better) and because my ligatures are all stainy. Yuck.

Well. Three months post-op today. Can hardly believe it!

Not a whole lot has changed since last month. I'm getting a little feeling back in my gums. I notice it when I floss. My teeth don't feel like false teeth anymore. My top teeth are looking great. My bottom teeth, there's that one little stubborn bugger of a tooth that still won't move to where it's supposed to go. Dr. J has been trying to move it for about 6 months now. It must really like it there. My bite is awesome though! Teeth fit together really nicely.

I'm still breaking my bands left and right. I get tired of removing them and putting them back on 1000 times a day. I hope I get to be done with them this month.

I can open my mouth alllll the way and I'm still eating everything with no problems. Totally back to normal in that regard.

A couple of weeks ago I got a headache, the same kind of migrainey thing I used to get before surgery. The reaction I had was probably sort of like the feeling an alcoholic has when he takes a drink after so many months of sobriety. I can no longer say I am headache-free. But the thing is, I did it to myself. I was tired and had ONE vodka cooler AND ate stuff with nitrites. Bad baaaad idea. I got a headache instantly. BUT it wasn't as bad as pre-surgery headaches. I was hoping for no more headaches at all, but I can live with fewer ones of less intensity.

As for my sinuses, they are doing great. I used to have so many problems with them. The drain much more easily now. I caught a cold last week, my first cold since the surgery, and I noticed my nose got a lot itchier and drier than it used to. It really bothered me. I was squirting saline spray in there like crazy.

I've noticed my nostrils settling down a little. My nose is a little narrower. Not as flared as it was since surgery. But still, I have a little swelling and stiffness around my nose. It's still crooked too. My smile is a tiny bit better. I still don't show enough gum (can you believe I'm saying that after 30 years of showing too much gum?). The thing is, a no-gum smile makes you look kind of OLD. I don't want to look like an old lady when I smile, thank you. I know Dr. C did not move my jaw up that much, so it has to be from swelling.

Well, that's it for this month!

yawn.....snap

2007-05-15T20:39:00.000-03:00

Thought I'd post a little update since I'm going a long time between appointments and milestones lately. And I need to kill 20 mins before American Idol starts. Hehe.

I'm over 10 weeks post-op now, if you aren't keeping count (I hardly am anymore).

My title is a description of the tenuous relationship I seem to be having with my elastic bands lately. They are heavy 4mm bands, and THEY BREAK ON ME EVERY DAY! So annoying. It usually happens when I yawn, which I do a lot. I'll yawn and hear and feel this *SNAP* which is unsettling until I realize it's just my band again. One day last week I had a band stuck under my upper lip for a WHOLE DAY before noticing it was there. I'm sure I've also swallowed a few.

I can't wait to be done with these evil little stretchy circles forever.

Otherwise, things are still going smoothly. I can open almost four fingers. Impressive, yes? I'm biting into eeeeeverything. Hotdogs, thick burgers, subs, you name it, I've bitten it. I've chewed steak, even. When I overdo it, my jaw does get a little sore, but nothing like before surgery.

My sinuses have been draining better and better each day, as the last of my swelling goes down. I'm surprised and delighted with this. My nose is still crooked and I'm pretty sure my cartilidge was affected there during surgery. :( I don't know what else it could be. I'm still slightly swollen around there and I guess that could be causing it. My upper lip area still LOOKS swollen to me, but it has occured to me that it might be just the way it looks now, and it won't ever change. I remind myself daily that the "end result" may not be seen until over 6 months post-op. I will not give myself permission to be too concerned about my crooked nose and goofy smile (which IS getting better ever so gradually). I can't help but worry and be impatient--it's my nature.

I'm so happy with my chin though. No complaints there. GOD I love my new profile. It might not be anything special to most people but it's so wonderful to me. You know how if you have no chin and you're in the bank or at the movies and there are people behind you and you're kind of aware every time your side is facing people and they're seeing your ugly profile? Or maybe it was just me. Anyway, it's so freaking nice to not have that self-consciousness anymore. So, so nice. I actually turn to the side purposely sometimes. :) I feel so...normal now. I love my genioplasty. Oh, did I mention I love my chin?

I've started doing face exercises several times a day. I do a lot of puckering and smiling and mouth-twisting. Not sure of it's just a coincidence but it has made a difference in my swelling and smile. Or maybe I'm imaginging things. Before, when I smiled, you could only see like half of my top teeth. Now you can see a little more. That's so weird too. I went from this huge gummy smile to showing no gums and not even my whole teeth when I smile. I've wondered if my surgeon cut TOO much of my top jaws in that Lefort, but I don't think he did. I think I'm just still stiff there.

I need to loosen up, in more ways than one.

2 months post-op update

2007-05-02T18:33:00.000-03:00

I don't think much has changed in my appearance since last month, do you? I can't see many changes anyway. Maybe a little less swollen. Still that stubborn swelling and stiffness around my nose area. Argghh. Not even going to show you my smile pic because it's still too goofy and I'm self-conscious about it (Kelsie's blog gives me hope and inspiration. She looks so beautiful and her smile is so perfect, I'm waiting on and hoping for that down the road). I love posting my profile pics because I'm in love with my chin. Oh and as you can see I am in dire need of a haircut. Also, I think it's funny that I blend into the black leather chair in the first pic. Hehe. Okay, I'll shut up now.

Today I went to see Dr. J. My 9 year old daughter and I did, actually. She had to go for her 2nd consultation. She went last year for the first time. This time, Dr. J said it would be a good idea to remove two of her baby teeth, the eye teeth on top, to make room for the permanent teeth. He said there's a 50/50 chance she'll need braces in the future, but we have to wait another year until she loses all her baby teeth to tell for sure. The good news is, she does NOT have any problems with her jaws. Her jaw joints are in the right place. This is good. She doesn't have her mom's problems. Whew.

Then it was my turn. Dr. J's assistant started off examining me. She couldn't figure out why that bottom tooth of mine was not straightening. She's spent months trying to straighten that little bugger. She got Dr. J to have a look, and he decided to take over. Now, in the year since I've been going to Dr. J, he's never actually done any work in my mouth personally. It's always been his assistant (also wife), who I will call P. She is a very pretty, soft-spoken, GENTLE woman who smells lovely. Dr. J? Not so much. Breath isn't as good, not so pretty up close, and NOT GENTLE AT ALL. Ouch. He was flipping my head around, pressing hard on my poor little new chin, and just generally being rough with me. I felt like saying "I'm a human, not one of your sets of teeth is your office you use to demonstrate stuff on." He's a nice man, a brilliant man, but his handling of people leaves something to be desired. No wonder his wife does most of the adjusting. When I came out of the office, my husband said I looked like I'd been beaten up. Hair mussed, long-wear lipstick smudges all over my face, a wild look in my eye...

ANYWAY. No more power chains, they did their job well. No more hooks! I now have two single elastics on either side of my mouth to keep those muscles from trying to move my bite back to the way it was. I have to wear them all the time, except while eating and brushing, but it's okay because you can barely see them and they are nice and stretchy.

I asked Dr. J when I can expect to get my braces off and he said "3-5 months, but definitely by Christmas". Sigh. Oh well, so much for corn on the cob this summer. But it's okay, I'm really not that impatient about my braces. They seem like part of me now. Like my nose. Or my pinky toe. Except more annoying.

In other news, the roof of my mouth has 100% feeling back and everytime I drink something hot or cold I can feel it right up my sinuses. So strange. My gushing gums have almost healed, thank goodness. No more bleeding.

That's it! I'm sore now from the mouth raping, so off to down some Advil.

Post-op oral surgeon visit #3

2007-04-26T10:49:00.000-03:00

Another two minute appointment with Dr. C. Same as last time, basically. First thing he always asks is "How's the diet going?" I said good. He then proceeded to "check my wounds". All good. He looked in my mouth and said "Lovely." Then he told me there's nothing more for him to do, that Dr. J will now take over and "work his magic." I don't have to see Dr. C again until I get my retainer. Yay! No more half-hour drives for a two-minute appointment.

I asked about the residual swelling/stiffness under and around my nose, and Dr. C said he'd done some muscle recontruction there because if he hadn't, my upper lip would have flattened out and been pretty much invisible. Yikes. So he shortened those muscles so my upper lip would look balanced with my lower lip. Which it does. He did a wonderful job there, I must say. I love the new placement and appearance of my lips almost as much as I love my new chin. My lower lip used to look so huge compared to my upper one, and it stuck out and looked even bigger because of my lack of a chin. Now my lips are the right size for my face, and balanced to each other. The lip transformation was the one thing that really surprised me. Pleasantly.

To reduce the stiffness, he told me to do kissing exercises several times a day. Hehe. Like fish lips. Then he demonstrated, which was quite amusing. I almost told him my husband would love this kissing exercise idea, but I was too tired to joke around this morning. So tonight you'll see me sitting in front of the TV watching Grey's and making fish faces like an idiot.

Did I mention that one of the assistants in Dr. C's office looks exactly like Mrs. McCluskey from Desperate Housewives? I almost asked her if she was hiding her husband in her deep freeze. I guess you'd have to watch the show to get that.

I asked about food, of course. Dr. C said I can eat whatever I want as long as it's comfortable for me. Which I've been doing for about a month now. So Saturday? Grilled steak. Awwww yeah.

And that was that.

Can you believe my gum is STILL bleeding from the Floss Incident? It's been weeks and it is not healing. Last night I thought it had healed and when I brushed my teeth, blood came gushing out. Yes, gushing. I was spitting out mouthfuls of it. I have no idea what's going on there. I must have sliced it pretty good. Of course I can't feel it, but it must hurt. I've been swishing with Peridex to try to heal it but it's stubborn. I didn't really mention it to Dr. C but I will let Dr. J know.

An old friend of mine and my hubby's came over the other day and he was freaked out by my new face. We haven't seen him since December. He's known me since high school and he could not get over how different I looked, my face, my smile, and especially my profile. He didn't tell me I looked good, just different, and "not in a bad way." I guess that was a compliment? But everyone, absolutely everyone, tells me "I didn't see anything wrong with the way you looked before." I think that's bat-$hit crazy talk. To me, it's glaringly obvious what was wrong before.

I'm always surprised when people say I look different because I'm so used to how I look now, I don't even remember the old me. I actually forget sometimes that I look different. The transition into this new face has been so seamless for me, so natural, that it shocks me when someone notices a change. So weird.

On April 30, it will be my one year braces anniversary. CRAZY!

I go to Dr. J on May 2, which is also my "2 months post-op" day. I will update with pics next time. Ciao.

6 weeks post-op update

2007-04-13T09:48:00.000-03:00

No pics this time because, well, nothing has really changed with me looks-wise in the past two weeks.

I'm 6 weeks post-op today. Hard to believe! Everything is continuing to go really well. I'm still wearing my bands 14 hours a day. Thanks to my powerchains, my top teeth are now perfectly straight and gap-free. Now we have to get those bottom teeth to follow suit. I'm HOPING that I'll be brace-free by the summer. That would be nice.

Numbness: As far as my face goes, there is still the slightest numb patch on my chin. Nothing bothersome at all. As for my gums, still completely numb. I severed myself with the floss the other day. I wasn't paying attention and I thought it wasn't between my teeth yet so I kept yanking, and it turns out it was against my gums. This was last week and I'm still bleeding from there daily. Oops.

Feeling: I'm ever so gradually getting some feeling back in my upper teeth. No, not my gums, my teeth. They've been shifting like crazy, and every once in a while I'll get what I call a Jump & Tickle. It's not as fun as it sounds. My nerve jumps and then I feel a tickle run from my tooth to the roof of my mouth. Speaking of the roof of my mouth, I almost have total feeling back there. It happened suddenly, two days ago, when I was eating cold applesauce and I realized it felt extremely cold on the roof of my mouth. It feels strange up there though. I guess that's normal considering my upper jaw is in a different place now. There's this bony bump there that's driving me crazy. I'm going to ask Dr. C to have a look when I see him on the 26th.

Eating: I can eat almost everything now. I've done nachos (soggy), hamburgers (smooshed), popcorn (soft microwaved), hotdogs (smooshed), subs (smooshed) among other things. The only things I can't do are steak, pork of any kind, raw veggies, and thick things like big hamburgers and subs with lots of toppings. I have to take stuff like tomato slices off a hamburger or sub so it's thinner. I can leave lettuce on but it seems to drag out and land on my chin. My teeth can't "cut" it. I can open up much wider than before (3 fingers can fit in there now!) but it's hard to take big bites and then chew them. Hubby and I took the kids to Applebee's last weekend and I couldn't have maybe half of what was on the menu. No club sandwich because of bacon. No hamburger or chicken burger because they are huge there. No salad because like I said, I find it really hard to break down lettuce. No ribs for obvious reasons. I can't bite into things like fried chicken or ribs or wings. I have no idea when I will feel comfortable enough to do it. All in all, I'm eating like a pig and gaining back all my weight and then some.

Other stuff: I'm so used to my new look now that I feel like I've always looked this way. I can still see my old self in the mirror, the only difference being the chin and altered smile. I love my new chin. No more pain or swelling there, by the way. The genioplasty has completely healed. I'm much more confident in my looks now. Last weekend we went to the pool and I wore my hair off my face in a ponytail. I NEVER would have done that pre-surgery. People who don't realize I had surgery, like some of my neighbors for example, haven't really noticed anything different about me, or maybe they have and just won't say. My smile still looks goofy and I wonder daily if it will ever look better. The parts of my face under my nose and beside my nose still feel really stiff and I'm trying to figure out if it's swelling that will go away or scar tissue that won't.

To sum up, recovery has been smooth sailing. I'm extremely happy with my results thus far, aside from the goofy smile and stubborn slight swelling. I haven't had any jaw pain or migraines since surgery, but my sinuses still hate me. No more pops and cracks in my joints when I open wide. So far it's been more successful than I'd ever hoped.

1 Month Post-Op

2007-04-02T14:35:00.000-03:00

I did not put any makeup on for these pictures so please excuse the "au naturale" look. And the profile pic has my hair in my face but you get the idea.

Wow. One month ago today I was just out of surgery and recovering. What a month it has been. So bad, yet so good. So expectedly tough, yet so surprisingly easy.

My left nostril now has feeling. Top gums are still completely numb, and the feeling in my chin is slowly coming back. Still getting the pins-and-needles there. For those who've had a genio, do you get as paranoid as I do about bumping your chin? I've bumped mine accidentally a few times...against my kids' heads, against my husband...I even bump it with my own hand sometimes when I'm brushing my hair or whatever. I bumped it against my husband's shoulder the other day and ran to the bathroom to make sure it was still in place. Haha. I have dreams about my chin either going back to the way it was or getting shifted off to the side.

I still have swelling around my nose. My nose is still crooked. Buuuuut, I try to be patient.

Since I got powerchains on my top braces and the gaps have been closing up, I'm getting the strangest feeling there. Sort of like a tickly feeling. The best way I can describe it is it's like tiny bubbles dancing along my gums. It's only in one particular spot, near where a big gap used to be. It's closed up now, after only a couple of weeks. I know if I had feeling there, my top teeth would hurt from all that movement.

My bite is still way off, but I'm so much better at remembering where to place my jaws, and learning to chew again. Still wearing my bands 14 hours a day. There are tiny bands all over my bathroom. In the tub, toilet, sink, bathmat. Those little buggers can fly when they're accidentally flicked.

I have a sinus infection. It's funny because my sinuses have been so clear for about 3 weeks straight, which is unusual for me. I can usually clear up my sinus infections with Nasonex, Sudafed and if it's really bad, a salt-water sinus rinse. I was hoping this surgery would make my sinuses drain more effectively, but then again I am still swollen around there, which could be the culprit.

All in all, I'm doing really great. Life is gone on as normal. I don't really miss the foods I can't eat. I've grown very used to cutting food up, tearing food apart, and smooshing food down. No biggie.

Man, I can't believe how fast this month flew by!

Post-op oral surgeon visit #2

2007-03-29T12:03:00.000-03:00

I travel 40 minutes each way for 5 minutes with Dr. C. I just love him that much. Ha.

This morning's visit was short but sweet. All Dr. C wanted to do was check my "wounds" (as he called them). Everything is healing nicely. Then of course he asks, always with a hint of a playful, mocking smile, "How's the diet going?" like he KNOWS that's my biggest challenge. I told him, "Good, now that I can actually eat." Then he laughed. He felt around my chin and told me to move my lower jaw side to side, and then proclaimed everything to be perfect. He said, "Whatever you're doing, keep doing it because everything looks great."

I'm not sure if recovery is supposed to be this easy or if I'm just a good patient or if his other patients have problems or are complaining all the time, but I'm just glad it's going so well for me.

I also asked him when I can expect to stop feeling like I have false teeth on top, and he said it just takes time, possibly months, and some people never get feeling back all the way there. I did know this, but I just thought I'd bring it up.

On the way home, we drove by McDonalds and got hamburger Happy Meals for me and my 5 year old. Yes, I can eat hamburgers now, but ONLY McDonalds ones because they are so flat. I flatten them even more with my palm, then cut them into four sections. As for the fries, I can only eat the soggy ones. It's so much easier to eat now than it was two weeks ago. But then again, I've had tons of practice because I never STOP eating these days. I don't overdo and I try to take it easy on my jaws, and slow down when they start aching. They don't ache often though.

In other news, I have more feeling in my left nostril now, and it's slowly coming back in my chin area too. Whenever I wash my face or put on my foundation, I get a pins-and-needles feeling there. My face is still really stiff under and around my nose. I can't twitch my nose or pucker my lips, and smiling is still a chore.

Tomorrow it will be 4 weeks since I had surgery. On Monday it will be exactly one month. I can hardly believe it.

3 weeks post-op

2007-03-23T12:59:00.000-03:00

As you can see in these pics, I still have swelling on my upper lip area, the space between my nose and upper lip, and in my sinus area. Yet 99% of the swelling has gone down in my lower face. These two things together are why the upper part of my face seems to come out more in the profile pic, and why my nose looks so far out and turned up. Dr. J says when that goes down my lips will fit together even better. I didn't give you a full smile because it still looks so freaking goofy at this point.

I'm feeling great. Wonderful. Last night my sinuses were bugging me but they drained pretty effectively overnight. Yesterday I started getting feeling back on the left side of my chin. I got pins and needles there when I was washing my face. Woo hoo! Left nostril is slowly coming back as well.

I'm a little concerned about my smile. As I said, it looks so weird and goofy. When I smile my nose does this strange stretching thing. I'm afraid it might always look that way. Then again, my upper lip area is still swollen, which I'm sure is contributing to the goofiness.

Waiting for the last of the swelling to go down is a big test in patience, I'll tell ya.

Weirdness...and more on my favorite topic: food

2007-03-22T20:50:00.000-03:00

Today was the first day I left my bands off for 10 hours and I have to say, my jaws were all confused. They have no sense of direction, my jaws. Quite dumb, they are. I was kind of biting like I used to, which doesn't work anymore. I almost gave myself a headache. My teeth don't fit together yet and I have to be patient. I know this. My bottom teeth hurt today. My top teeth probably hurt too but I can't feel it.

Now that the vast majority of swelling has gone down in my chin area, my jawline has become sharper, less rounded. I'll put up pics tomorrow for my 3 week post.

Food. Oh lovely food. I've been eating SO MUCH in the past week. My personal favorites include:

Jello chocolate/vanilla pudding (the kind you refrigerate)
Mott's strawberry applesauce (SO good)
PB&J (smashed down, with extra PB)
Grilled cheese (good ole comfort food)
Kraft Easy Mac
Thick soups
Canned ravioli
Quaker maple and brown sugar oatmeal
Baked potatoes smothered in Becel, salt, pepper and bacon bits (I can swallow dem suckers whole)
Broccoli steamed very soft
Captain Highliner haddock fish sticks (they are super soft), dipped in tartar sauce
Scrambled eggs, soft-boiled eggs, poached eggs (um, I love eggs)
Toast with butter
Soft french fries
Soft hamburger patty cut into tiny pieces
Spaghetti with meat sauce
Frozen Eggo waffles and French Toaster Sticks with margerine and syrup
Reese's Peanut Butter Cups (cut into pieces) for a treat

I've found I can open wide enough to actually bite into things now, like a single slice of bread. It's much easier to open my mouth now than it was a few days ago.

I've gained back most of my weight, as you can well imagine with those foods. I miss crunchy things (like potato chips) and thick things (like subs), but I could live off soft-chew diet for a long time. But in 3 more weeks I can resume my normal diet.

How did it happen so fast??

First post-op orthodontist visit

2007-03-21T16:27:00.000-03:00

Please excuse the bad picture. I took it myself in the mirror in the bathroom and the lighting is horrible in there.

I took two Advil before I left for Dr. J's office, anticipating pain, but as it turned out it wasn't bad at all. I got a new wire on my top teeth and power chains to close all the gaps. Dr. J's assistant was very gentle and when I told her my genio stitches still ached a bit, she left my bottom teeth alone for now. She did put new hooks on top and bottom. She put three tighter bands in different spots. Two triangles on the sides, except they are not coming off my back molars now. I don't have an overbite or underbite so they are basically just there to keep my jaws still to heal. The best part is, Dr. J said I only had to wear them for 14 hours a day! So if I put them on at 6pm I'd wear them until morning and the rest of the day I am band-free. Woo hoo!

The lady who does the x-rays and pictures told me I looked "so different". I said "Really?" because for the most part I think I look like myself, only with a chin. She said I looked "supercute" which coming from someone as gorgeous as this woman is a nice compliment.

While I was waiting for Dr. J, I peeked in my folder (Are you allowed to do that? No one stopped me.) I saw the letter from Dr. C stating what he had done to me. It said my upper jaw was moved up 4mm, cut in four segments (yikes!) and stabalized with internal rigid fixation and mandi-something fixation. Which means I have plates, screws, AND little wires holding my jaws together. It also said there was some bone grafting done, which surprised me. Bone from where? I wondered. I have to remember to ask him next time I see him.

As for the genio, my chin was moved ahead 6mm and up 4mm. Also held together with plates, screws, and little wires.

Dr. J's new receptionist had the same surgery as me and she told me that at 3 weeks she was a lot more bruised and swollen than I am. She looks great, but I didn't get to see her beforehand. Half the staff in Dr. J's office has had orthognathic surgery...maybe it's a job requirement.

So that is that. I'm glad it didn't hurt. I figure since my top gums and teeth are completely numb I won't feel any soreness from the adjustment. Ya think?

The joys of soft-chew diet

2007-03-18T09:56:00.000-03:00

Grilled cheese sandwiches, peanut butter sandwiches, toast, eggs, tender pieces of chicken breast, fettucine alfredo, apple sauce, oatmeal, pudding, macaroni and cheese, cupcakes...

That's some of what I have eaten in the past two days. I could eat like this forever. *happy sigh*

I'm full all the time now. I eat four times a day, just little meals, and then brush. It's getting easier to "chew" (I put that in quotes because I never really chew, just sort of mush the food around against my teeth and the roof of my mouth and swallow). It takes me about 1/2 hour to eat each time but that's fine by me. I think I've gained about two pounds already. I've only lost about five so it won't be hard to bulk up again.

I think I've figured out partly why I was so cranky and freaking crazy with hunger last week. I'll give you a hint: it starts with "P" and ends with "MS". In any case, I'm not insanely hungry at all anymore.

Yesterday we went to the brand new, huge Wal-Mart and shopped for over an hour. I did get quite tired by the end of it, but shopping at Wal-Mart on a Saturday always makes me tired. I was hoping to run into someone I know who didn't know about the surgery so I could see if they recognized me, but it didn't happen. No one stared at me, even though--as my hubby told me--I look pissed off all the time. Ha ha. I really do. I can't smile comfortably and my face is stiff. Then again, shopping at Wal-Mart on a Saturday always makes me look pissed off.

My teeth look messed up. My top archwire was cut during surgery so my teeth are moving to places they aren't supposed to be. My overbite seems to be back, and I have these huge gaps. I can't wait to go see Dr. J this week and get back on track again. I'm kind of scared of getting an adjustment though because there's so much pushing and yanking involved. That can't be good on a recently broken jaw. Hope they are gentle with me.

Now a shout-out to all my family members who read my blog. I appreciate your support and compliments. Thank you!

2 weeks post-op--I'm free!

2007-03-16T14:26:00.000-03:00

Well, for a couple of hours a day anyway.

My two week pictures: you can see that my nose is still crooked but it's getting better. And I thought I'd throw in a pic of my extremely awkward smile. It makes me laugh. It's my "bring on the food" smile.

I was so excited to see Dr. C today! When I got there he was right in the middle of a wisdom teeth removal or something because he came in the room wearing his scrubs. He looked in my mouth and complimented me on how clean my teeth were. I was like, what? My teeth feel disgusting! But I guess he sees worse. He asked me how my diet was going and I said, "I'm HUNGRY!". He laughed. Then I asked him with desperation in my eyes, "I'll be able to move on to soft foods after today, right?" He said yes. I started breathing again. He said he'd give me looser elastics and I can take them off to eat and brush. BINGO. Applause. So I now have three bands instead of five, and he taught me how to take them on and off with this little pink hooky doohicky. He said it will take practice and I concur. Since I got home, within an hour I've shot one elastic across the room, whipped my lip, and almost swallowed one. Jeez.

My first bands-off meal? A very flat, very soft grilled cheese cut in tiny pieces. It was soooo yummy and filling. I could almost hear my tummy yelling "What the hell?" Let me tell you, chewing is WEIRD. It's like trying to chew with those plastic false teeth in. It's tiring. And just plain strange. I can't open all the way yet and my bite feels off, like there are teeth in weird places. Being clenched for so long has tilted my bottom molars a bit.

Dr. C said that Dr. J has a lot of orthodontic work to do on my teeth before my bite will feel right for me. I knew this. He also said I'd have to wear these elastics for 2-3 months! Is it me, or is this longer than normal? I don't know. Oh well, I don't really mind. He said my bite had to be retrained and I understand that. I have to see him again in two weeks for another follow-up.

I also saw my x-rays. So cool. My little chin bone sticking out looked funny. I could see all the hardware in my upper jaw. Dr. C's assistant told me twice that I looked good. I told her I was extremely pleased and she said, "You should be. He did an excellent job...again!" Way to toot your boss's horn.

Brushing my teeth was lovely. I had so much gunk in there. But again, it was so weird. My top gums are almost totally numb and it felt like I was brushing the table. I can't believe I'm typing this but it almost felt good to put the bands back on. My bite felt way unstable with them off. It was like I didn't know where to put my teeth.

So, I am happy. I feel full. Life is good.

These are great pages for soft food ideas!

http://www.archwired.com/soft_foods_category.htm

http://www.archwired.com/soft_foods_mealtype.htm

Rules of Syringement

2007-03-15T17:36:00.000-03:00

One more sleep.

I'm so excited!

Fear cluthched my heart when I saw a Winter Storm Warning for tomorrow. What's weird is there was also a warning the day before my surgery, two weeks ago. Maybe Mother Nature is trying to mess with me. Luckily the snow isn't supposed to start until late in the day and my appointment is early.

My last syringe supper was potatoes and gravy. I think I will never eat that again. Ever. Soup either. I may have an egg for breakfast tomorrow and that should be the LAST TIME I have to eat that way. Soft-chew diet, how I love you.

Eating through a syringe takes effort. It can be time-consuming, lonely, messy, frustrating, and unappetizing. There are times when the substance you want to suck up gets plugged and you want to throw the syringe across the room. There are times when your food squirts out too fast and it goes all over your face. There are times when blended food just does not taste as good as it smells. A huge part of the enjoyment of eating is the appearance of the food. Blended chicken and broccoli does not look good.

Some positive things have come out of my liquid/semi-mushed diet these past two weeks, such as:

1. I discovered that I actually like Carnation Instant Breakfast and will probably continue to drink them.
2. I have more energy because almost everything I take in has tons of nutrients.
3. I successfully battled my Pepsi addiction.
4. I probably won't eat as much junk food as I did before.
5. I lost a whole lot of cellulite.
6. This was a huge test in patience and strength, and even though I complained a lot, at least I didn't go stark-raving mad (yet).
7. It made me appreciate eating, talking, yawning and brushing my teeth SOOOO much.
8. I sleep better because I take in virtually no caffeine.
9. Not being able to talk so much or do too much gave me a lot of time to think, read, and watch TV, even though I watched so much Friends, Seinfeld and True Hollywood Story that I could recite the dialogues of every episode.
10. My creativity flourished and grew. Who knew you could eat salsa and cheese chicken through a tiny little hole?

So. I'm not sure if tomorrow I will toss my syringes in the garbage, or keep them to remember this time of my life. My new chin serves as a good enough reminder, so maybe I will toss 'em.

I literally feel like I could eat a steak right now if my bands were off. My jaws feel strong, but at this point very tired from being clenched for so long. I can't wait to start my jaw exercises. Open...insert food....close. Open...insert food...close.

Titanium Twins

2007-03-15T10:29:00.000-03:00

I just realized last night that both my husband and I have titanium in our bodies. How many couples can say that? He has a vasectomy and I have my bone plates and screws.

Good thing titanium is not...uh...magnetic.

I'm such a freak

2007-03-14T16:20:00.000-03:00

You guys can laugh at me if you want, it's okay. I will understand.

This has to be be THE longest week of my life. I still can't talk beyond ventriloquism so I haven't been too keen (keen is such an underused word these days) on being around people or going anywhere. The kids are on spring break and up until today the weather has been good and they've been going out, but today it rained and tomorrow it will rain and they are bored now. So I've been trying to find things for them to do, even letting them play with their messy stuff that I have to clean up for days afterward (like that frickin' horrible Moon Sand).

I am SO hungry 99% of the time that I can barely think beyond food. So as I've said already, I'm looking forward to seeing my OS on Friday. Very much forward. So forward that I've even been inventing these weird scenarios as to why I might NOT be able to see him (and thus be stuck in these bands for another week or whatever). What if his office cancels? What if the car doesn't start? What if we get a huge storm? What if Dr. C gets called away on an emergency? What if Dr. C gets sick or, even worse, gets in an accident? Yes, I seriously pondered this possibility.

I made my husband call Dr. C's office and confirm for Friday, to make absolute sure my appointment is when it is.

I am a freak.

I sit here thinking about all the things I can eat once I have looser bands and/or I can take them off to eat. Tiny bits of grilled cheese. Scrambled eggs. Soup mushy with crackers. Pasta of all kinds. Toast. Cheerios. And on and on and ONNNNNN. I try to think of what my kids ate at a year old and figure I'll be able to partake in the same foods. Right now I'm still at the infant stage of drinking my meals. It really is like being a baby again, isn't it?

I also dream about brushing my teeth properly. The backs of my teeth feel so disgusting. I think about how that first good brush will feel, the taste of the toothpaste, everything. I even miss flossing and can't wait to do it again.

I am a freak.

Two more sleeps.

Eggs-cellent

2007-03-13T20:13:00.000-03:00

Know what I just had for a snack? A poached egg. Unblended, no-base-added, unadulterated poached egg. I cooked it up, mashed it up, and sucked that baby into my syringe. I got most of it too, though it was mostly yolk. But I did not care. I tasted real egg for the first time in two weeks. It's the little things, isn't it?

It's funny. If someone asked me two weeks ago if I'd eat an egg through a syringe post-op, I'd have laughed at them. I mean, ew. But do not underestimate the power of hunger. I had a love affair with all things food long before this surgery. Eating has always been my favorite thing to do and I knew beforehand that being banded tight for two weeks would be the toughest part of this whole thing. And it has been.

I'm so glad I have rigid fixation and I'm not wired or even splinted. Because in...oh...three days? I get to eat.

Bring. It. On.

Reflections

2007-03-13T12:17:00.000-03:00

This morning I was thinking back to about two years ago, when I started truly realizing how weird my face looked and how much I hated my profile and my teeth and my smile. I always have, but it was just two years ago that my looks really started bothering me. I got kind of obsessed with looking at older pictures of myself to see if my chin had receded even more since, say, my wedding photos in 1999. I'd watch TV and study people's chins and smiles, comparing. I remember going online to look into a chin implant. I even emailed a plastic surgeon asking how much one would cost (they emailed back saying they'd have to see me first). I recall thinking that we would never be able to afford plastic surgery and braces and I was stuck hating my looks forever.

Now, two years later, after braces and surgery and a new chin under my belt (or under my lips), I can sort of understand those people on talk shows who lose a ton of weight and feel like they can do anything. They can wear anything. They can pull anything off. They get new haircuts and new clothes and new jewelry. Anything is possible.

That's how I feel now.

I realize now that I've always compensated. Makeup always on. Hair always long and never, ever pulled back off my face. Clothes that emphasized the fact that I at least had a nice figure. I'd rather have died than gone out the door less than perfect. In public without makeup and hair fixed, in sweat pants? Never. I cared so much about how I looked. In some people that's called vanity and being self-absorbed. But not for me and people like me. It's pure self-consciousness. Trying to make up for what is lacking. Thinking that if you look good in every other way, people may not notice your facial deformity. That you may even be able to forget about it.

Then there's the personality. If I'm funny and witty enough they may not see that I'm also unattractive. If I'm talented at something (in my case, it's always been writing), maybe they'll overlook the fact that my facial features are curiously similar to that of a horse. It's all about the compensation.

I've always wanted to be pretty, but I would have settled for just average. Normal. A chin and bite like everyone else would be nice, I often thought. Not that I haven't gotten my fair share of compliments over the years, but some people seemed to think "Hey, I think you're attractive and that should be enough for you." But it never was enough for me. Why should it be? I never saw myself as others saw me. I felt no one ever told me the truth. It wasn't until Dr. J laid out the truth for me last year that I really felt the first flicker of validation. My face wasn't normal. I had a deformity. Ugly, maybe not, but it had the potential to be so much better. And that's what Dr. J and Dr. C gave me. Potential. So much better. Normalcy. No more need for compensation. The permission to go out without makeup, wear my hair however I please, and let my hidden wit and warped sense of humor that not many people know about finally shine through. People can look at me now.

Today in the mirror I see the me that I always thought I should look like. Pretty? Maybe someday, when all the swelling is gone. But average at least. Balanced, normal, and acceptable. I'll be able to smile with confidence and without self-consciousness, which is all I've ever wanted. I don't even know how confidence feels, but I'm sure I will learn it over time. Hopefully it will become as familiar to me as shyness has been to me my whole life.

I can look in the mirror and not hate what I see. That's what made this whole entire thing worth it, and also the best thing I've ever done for myself. When people tell me I look good now, I believe them.

Finally, it's enough for me.

And the countdown begins

2007-03-12T12:13:00.000-03:00

Four more days. Four more days and I'll be able to open my mouth, brush the backs of my teeth, and just quite possibly chew soft foods. It's like being 6 years old and waiting for Christmas.

A tsunami could not keep me from going to my oral surgeon's office on Friday. Friday, March 16 at 12:45 pm AST. Aw yeah.

All things considered, lack of solid food and fuzzy backs of teeth are my only real complaints. I feel really good. Maybe because I'm eating healthy ALL THE TIME for the first time in my entire life. I have energy. My skin cleared up (though it's still super oily from the steriods and swelling). I'm sleeping pretty good. No more pain killers at all. I actually like my Carnation Instant Breakfast drinks and shakes. I have two a day, mid-morning and before bed, to make sure I get all my nutrients.

Last night hubby made me that Italian veggie soup, which was spicy and hot and delicious. It was hard on my stomach after days and days of blandness, but so worth it.

If it would only warm up, I could get out for a nice walk. My kids are on Spring Break and we're all going a little bit nutty. Oh well, I got plently of exercise today just sweeping and mopping my floors and doing laundry.

4
MORE
DAYS
!!!

Day 10

2007-03-11T11:43:00.000-03:00

"Your jaw is weakest on Day 10"

Uh oh. I'd better not move too much.

Still dealing with the swelling on the left nostril and crooked noseness, which I'm still hoping resolves itself. I think my lower jaw and chin looks great. Minimal swelling there but you can see what it will look like a few weeks from now.

Oh what a feeling

2007-03-10T18:37:00.000-04:00

Wasn't that a song in the 70s? Hmmm.

Anyway, the spot between my chin and my bottom lip is regaining feeling today. It hurts! My stitches down there ache too. A piece of my stitch fell off already, by the way. Ew. My face wakes up more everyday. My only numb spots are the left side of my chin and my left nostril.

I'm not feeling sick anymore. No idea what's going on there.

Right now I feel as close to full as I have in 9 days. My loving husband cooked me up some mashed potato with garlic, some broccoli, and baked chicken breast, and blended it with chicken stock. YUMMY. I ate (syringed though a gap in my teeth) a whole bowl of it. I keep blowing out syringes. They break from the pressure and fall into my bowl of goop and make a mess. I've found the ones with less of a rubber/plastic seal work better. Luckily I have a few from past child antibiotic rounds. I'm getting "syringe" finger. Seriously, I've got a callous on my thumb.

I'll celebrate the day I can sit down at the table without my freaking syringe and a freaking hand mirror.

A little sick

2007-03-10T11:10:00.000-04:00

What I thought was the normal gunkiness from surgery has turned into sicky gunkiness. I can tell the difference. I have a good old fashioned virus or something. My ears feel plugged, my nose is running, my throat feels inflamed, I have a cough that is producing some phlegm (sorry), and a very, very low-grade temp (99.6 last time I checked). I don't feel bad, just a little yucky. Don't worry, I WILL get my butt to the doctor if it even gets a little bit worse. Pneumonia wouldn't be fun at this point. I can just imagine that scene at the walk-in clinic, with hubby translating for me and the doctor realizing that no, he can't even check my throat because I can't open my mouth. Hehe. My husband is sick too. What a pair we are.

Other than that, I'm doing well. I took one of my bedtime pillows away so I am now laying (lying?) flatter. It's nice. Might have to go back to three pillows now that I'm sick though.

This morning for breakfast I had scrambled eggs and toast blended with milk. Um...yeah. Not that great, but it filled me up a little.

My favorite blended shake so far? This:

Chocolate Carnation Instant Breakfast
2 tbsp smooth Jif peanut butter
2 tbsp vanilla yogurt
1 cup whole milk

Oh. My. God. Yum.

My second fave:

Strawberry Carnation Instant Breakfast
1 banana
2 tbsp raspberry yogurt
squirt of honey
1 cup whole milk

Yum again.

This week, hubby is making me some Italian vegetable soup. I'm dying for flavor. Can't wait.

No pictures today. I'm going to stop doing the dailies and start posting them every few days so the difference will be more dramatic. :)

No dice

2007-03-09T13:47:00.000-04:00

Hubby has been to every drugstore in town, by the way, and cannot find the syringe adaptor. I plan to ask Dr. C about it next week, but by then I should have looser elastics and can shove food in between the bigger space.

There is also apparently no such thing as liquid Advil here. I can take the children Motrin if I want (like 30 ml!). Oh well.

1 week ago today...

2007-03-09T10:41:00.000-04:00

...I was just getting out of surgery. What a week it has been. It has gotten better by the day.

I'm getting a teeny tiny bit worried about my nose. As you can see from the pics, it's crooked. I do have more swelling on one side of my face, and my nose is numb on one side, so obviously it's stretching a little toward the left, but I'm wondering if my nose will ever be straight again. Still, even if it's not, I won't mind so much. Why? Because I LOVE my new jawline. I am so thrilled with my chin that I can't help but smile (awkwardly and numbly) when I study it in the mirror. I'm so glad I had this surgery and I'm even more glad that it's behind me. Surprisingly, I never once had a fleeting thought of "What have I done?" like a lot of people do. I have yet to "hit the wall" (though day 5 was pretty bad). I feel grateful for this.

I'm not sure if I have a little cold or if it's just from the gunk still running down the back of my nose, but my throat feels swollen and scratchy. I can't really cough either. I drank some Pepsi last night to see if the bubbles would work away some of the filmy feeling, but it didn't work. Maybe tea with lemon? Any suggestions?

Other than that, I'm feeling great. Still hungry, yes. But great. I realized I'm more relaxed now than I have been in months. It's been such a crazy few months with all the worrying and anticipation over my surgery and now it's OVER and I can focus on recovery. I'd love to go out for a walk but it's -13C and I don't think my new face would take well to frostbite. Can't wait for Spring.

Day 7

2007-03-08T12:15:00.000-04:00

Guess what I had for lunch just now? A soft boiled egg! With salt and pepper! And taste! I blended it with some water and sucked it down with my syringe. I'm now setting my little syringe against the one gap in my teeth. Anything that will fit in that syringe I will eat (in 5 ml swallows). I'm going to get my hubby to hunt down a syringe adaptor for me like Steph used, so I can stick that sucker right back by my molars.

Swelling is gone down on the left side of my chin, but under the nose and my left cheek is still puffy. I can now literally touch and feel my new chin bones. Quite frankly it's freaking me out how much I look like my brother, who always had a rounder jaw line than I did. He thinks it's weird too.

I just want you all to know that in the pictures I have posted I look like crap because a) I just had surgery a week ago, give me a break and b) I'm always right out of the shower with wet hair and no makeup. I can't wait until the swelling goes down and I can get all dolled up (I LOVE makeup and wear it often) and see what I really CAN look like.

Feeling better and better each day. More energy. I didn't have a great sleep last night, but I was up this morning doing laundry and cleaning up around the house. Go me!

My mom called the oral surgeon on call for me and asked if I can stop with the Tylenol/Codeine and start on regular old Advil. I bet the liquid form tastes horrible. But I don't want to be on the codeine anymore and I'm not in enough pain to warrant it.

My stitches ache periodically, and I can see them in there. Ew. I clean my mouth several times a day with salt water, brush several times a day (what I can), and swish twice a day with minty Peridex, but my mouth still feels like...well...ass. I'm wondering if I will be able to brush when Dr. C takes my bands off. Ahhhhh. Heaven.

My teeth are also starting to get sensitive to cold. Good sign, yes? I'm quite numb in my chin area and on the left side of my nose, but other than that I can feel everything. My nose is running constantly now, and I can't blow. My face feels very hot a few times a day too, which I guess is the swelling. I feel like I'm blushing sometimes.

I don't think I've lost as much weight as I thought I would have. I plan to eat, eat eat and gain it all back when I can. Man, it must be awesome to eat solid food after all this.

Day 6

2007-03-07T09:23:00.000-04:00

Feeling good today. Last night I actually slept for about 6 hours straight. I even slept a little on my side! Still congested, mostly at night before I take my dose of Afrin.

I'm still bruisy, as you can see. I have a lot of swelling still on my left side and under my nose. My nose is pretty much numb too...again, mostly on the left side.

My skin started peeling yesterday. Want a really good exfoliation? I recommend jaw surgery!

I'm starting to really wonder now what I am going to look like when the swelling goes. My chin feels so strange. It's so much higher! I think I'm going to look different but not as different as I thought around day 2.

I miss food. I miss hamburgers, potato chips, bacon, grilled cheese, fries, chicken, and all my favorites. I cannot WAIT to do to Dr. C next week to get looser bands. I'd give anything for solid food.

I miss sleeping on my side

2007-03-06T17:44:00.000-04:00

I absolutely loathe trying to sleep propped up on my back. I long to turn over and bury my face in my pillow again. *sigh*

When I lie down just a little bit, I feel a pulling and tugging sensation in my upper jaw. I assume this is normal. I feel best straight upright, but of course I can't sleep that way.

Also, my left ear tube is sore when I swallow. I guess it's the swelling, which is more prominent on my left side and pressing against my eustation tube.

Spit up a little watery blood this afternoon. Gunk is running down the back of my nose. I also noticed my top arch wire on my braces are cut on each side, which explains the poking. Ouch! I guess Dr. C had to cut them during the surgery.

My, aren't I the ball of sunshine today?

Day 5

2007-03-06T12:40:00.000-04:00

Brandy, you're right...I had a 3 piece Lefort 1. I keep thinking that a three piece means a Lefort 3. Makes too much sense. LOL

Anyway, today, I have the Green Neck. Yay! And the swelling is going down. Check out my eyes. I did not sleep well last night. Then there's the fact that my face is crooked. I hope that works itself out. In fact, today I'm feeling yucky. (Get ready for the complaining now).

I have a lot of pressure on my upper jaw and nose, I'm getting shooting pains, I'm gassy, I'm starving, my muscles and nerves are jumping, my teeth feel like crap, my mouth tastes like crap, and my braces are digging into my lip.

These are the things I am sick of:

1. Carnation Instant Breakfast
2. Juice
3. Soup
4. Spitting
5. Not being able to talk
6. Not being able to clean my house
7. Being fidgety and not being able to concentrate
8. Gas pains
9. Not being able to kiss my kids
10. Looking like this
11. Not being able to open my teeth
12. My 45 min bedtime routine
13. Cherry Tylenol
14. Not being able to laugh (I did that last night and it hurt!)
15. Feeling like a big ole burden lump

Under my chin swelling (recovery from the genio has been a BREEZE, by the way, compared to the upper jaw recovery) I can feel my new chin there. It's so weird to have an actual chin there!

I can see my gums and they are whitish (and numb). Is this normal? White gums?

Oh and I got the "rice in a sock" idea from Steph's blog and that works great and feels so nice!

Okay, I'm done now. Needed to get all that complaining out. UGH! I'd scream if I could open my mouth.

Day 4

2007-03-05T15:22:00.000-04:00

I'm bruised up a little today. The left side of my face is more swollen than the right. My upper lip swelled up. Feeling MUCH better today. Didn't need any pain med when I woke up. Congestion is a lot better, but not without some really disgusting, gross, uh...nose-picking by me (sorry, it had to be done, you just wouldn't believe what was in there). Nose was running really badly and I tried so hard not to sneeze. I have to spit up excess saliva a lot.

I brushed my teeth with my baby toothbrush this morning. Very carefully. Didn't do much, my teeth still feel wretched. I love my minty Peridex rinse.

Got a shower this morning, which felt good. I don't have to use my ice much anymore, just when my face feels hot. Too much information again, but I'm VERY gassy. Ugh. Had more Carnation Instant Breakfast and tomato soup, my favorites. Hubby made me some apple juice/apple sauce drink. Yummy. They keep making good-smelling stuff like popcorn though, which makes me drool. ARGGH!!!!! I'm sick of liquid food already and it's only day 4.

Took 10ml (half dose) of Tylenol at 11am and slept 2 hours. Nice.

Okay, I am all caught up now! Yay!

Day 3

2007-03-05T15:11:00.000-04:00

Still not feeling so great. Sinus congestion is HORRIBLE. I asked for the trusty Tylenol a lot. The nurses think I can be released today but I have to see the doctor first of course.

I did manage to get a shower, which was awesome. I felt so grungy.

Lunch was Carnation Istant Breakfast (strawberry) and tomato soup and it was GOOD. I'm not wired shut, just banded, and while I can't chew, I can drink from a cup and my lips are not numb. My teeth feel severely clenched all the time, though I can open them about a milimeter.

I see Dr. C's assosiate, Dr. S, another oral surgeon, and he says I can go. After lunch I am free!

The fresh air felt good outside. People stared at me but I didn't care. I felt proud of my swelling. I'd been through one hell of a lot.

At home I got another bath to wash off the hospital germs, then crawled into bed with my bedside pharmacy. My kids came in to see me. They both acted a little shy, especially my 5 year old son. My 9 year old daughter coped by drawing funny portraits of me and my blowfish face.

I took some pain meds and had a little rest. The sinus and nasal congestion were still unberable at this point. I was taking Afrin twice a day, and Nasonex once, which helped. I went downstairs to the computer and almost passed out going back up. I couldn't get in enough air.

I watched The Amazing race, Desperate Housewives and took some more Tylenol before bed. I also had to eat (drink), rinse with my Peridex, Afrin my nose, wash up, put some lip stuff on, pee, and get my ice packs ready. It took me about 45 mins just to get ready for bed. I had a good night though. Slept on and off, had weird dreams, but wasn't in much pain.

THANK THE GODS for my Vicks humidifer. That thing ROCKS.

Day 2

2007-03-05T14:52:00.000-04:00

I slept a lot that day. And drank lots of water and juice. Used my humidifier mask and ice packs a lot too. I was horribly congested in my sinus area and I had a headache. Dr. C came to see me and told me everything went well. By this day I was starting to feel really gross and stinky. I still had bloody vomit in my hair, even though the nurses had tried to clean me. I felt the worst in the afternoon, and had a 3 hour nap. I think that was about when they gave me my first Tylenol with codeine. My hubby took some pictures. When I saw the profile one, something unexpected happened. I FREAKED OUT. Started saying "Oh my God", "Is that really me?" and bawling. Even through the swelling I could tell I had a profile and a CHIN! A chin!!!! After I calmed down I wrote some letters to my kids and my mom, then went back to sleep.

My IV came out at around 4pm. I was free!

I still needed my humidifier mask a lot. By evening I felt good enough to get up and around a little, and read some chapters in my book. I had a good night that night.

Surgery Day--Day 1

2007-03-05T14:28:00.000-04:00

Okay, I'm going to be quite slow typing out the last 4 days.

I got up at 5am and showered. The first time the nerves ever hit me was on the drive to the hospital. When we got there I checked in (after a little wait) and a nurse took me to get my lovely, attractive gown and slippers on. Then I sat on a bed and another nurse spoke to me and filled out all my forms. On the computer I noticed I was put down for a Lefort 3. Wow. Anyway, filling out the forms took forever, They were most interested in getting all my meds allergies down (can't take any of the 'cillin drugs, which is what they usually give).

Then Dr. C came in to see me. He told me what to expect in the OR. He said it looked just like Grey's Anatomy, which got a smile out of me. He said it should take about 2 hours. My hubby seemed more scared that I was so they talked mostly to him. Haha. After Dr. C left, the anesthesiologist came and asked me questions. He was very nice. After all these visits, another nurse came to get me. We were going to walk into the OR. I gave my glasses to my hubby, which turns out was a good thing because I couldn't see any shiny instruments or saws in the OR when I walked in. They gave me a warm blanket and told me to climb up on the warm bed. There were lots of doctors and nurses with masks on, and this cheerful nurse said "I know what Rebecca will be doing this weekend! Recouperating." Yeah, no duh.

I climbed up onto the table and they attached those little sticky things to my chest. The anesthesiologist was at my left side and was sticking me with my IV before I could even think about what was happening. He said something like, "Now I'm going to give you some of the feel good stuff". The last thing I remember is someone asking me how old my kids were, and by the time I said "9 and 5", I was out. The next thing I knew, nurses were shaking me awake, saying my name. It all happened very fast. Right away I was iced up with a humidifer mask on. Someone rubbed something on my lips. Then the next thing I knew my husband was there, holding my hand. I gave him the thumbs up. Surprisingly, I could breathe very clearly through my nose and I felt good, just a little nauseous.

Then they were rolling me to my room after about an hour or so in recovery. There was a guy there helping the nurses to push my bed into the elavator, and they almost forgot to tell my hubby we were going. I kept hearing this one nurse say how sweet my husband is (I so agree!). So there we were in my room and I tried to communicate with my hubby a little bit, writing notes to him, asking how I looked, how things were at home, etc.

The next thing I remember is throwing up. I had tons of blood in my stomach and I can't tolerate that (I did the same thing after my wisdom teeth). I had a suction catheter wand thingie at my bedside and I used that a lot. I just felt really nauseous. I was on strong antibiotics and there was still blood in my tummy. I threw up one more time that night. The poor nurses.

My roomate was an elderly British woman who'd had hip surgery. All she did was burp, fart, moan and groan. But that's another story. LOL

With the IV pumping fluids into me, I needed to pee. A LOT. I was up to the bathroom every hour or so. A doctor came by to look at me during this time, listened to my chest. They kept checking my vitals every two hours. The nurses were VERY nice and helpful.

I don't remember sleeping much that night. I did get a shot or two of Gravol and morphine, so I was pretty dopey.

I'm home!

2007-03-04T20:23:00.000-04:00

I look and feel like a truck hit me, but I am home. Just wanted to let you guys know everything went well and I'm okay. I'll post pics and stuff later. Thanks for all your support!

The Night Before

2007-03-01T22:28:00.000-04:00

I ate Subway, cuddled with my babies, watched Survivor and American Idol, and now I'm going to bed. Have to be up at 5:00am tomorrow to shower.

I haven't even taken my before pics yet, so it's going to have to wait. I'll take them in a few minutes and post them in a few days.

See you guys on the flip side. :)

The Day Before

2007-03-01T09:08:00.000-04:00

When something big is happening and I get overwhelmed, I like to write. Yep, I just shut down, not talk much, and write it all out. So expect a lot of bloggin' today and throughout my entire recouperation.

I can't believe it's here already. After almost a year of anticipation, anxiousness, nervousness, and pain, it's here. I'm still a little sick with a tickly throat, but I can breathe through my nose and have no chest congestion, so I think it will be okay.

This year has been an amazing experience for me. I loved the challenge of it all, adjusting to living with braces and learning about my surgery. Every day I have felt so grateful to have this opportunity. I'm glad I wasn't born with a balanced face and good bite because it's been an interesting ride and it will make it all the more special to have a "normal" face in the end. I'll never take it for granted, that's for sure. And it'll be a good story to tell, how once I got my jaws sawed apart. I've learned so much, and made a few new friends in this orthognathic surgery blogging circle. The Yahoo group, and all your blogs, have been invaluable to me. Seriously. If it weren't for you all, I'd be a wreck right now. The support has been amazing.

My surgery will be around 7:30 EST tomorrow morning. I'll be in the hospital until Sunday at least, but as soon as I get home and can sit up at the computer, I will update.

Today, I will make lists, clean, eat a ton, and kiss my hubby and kids a lot. I also expect I will be looking at my face often, as this is the last time I will ever see it like this.

Um, guess what?

2007-02-28T13:56:00.000-04:00

I caught The Cold. Yes, I did. I think. Either that or my sinuses have decided to drain down my throat, which happens often too. I'm a little congested in my nasal passages and my sinuses, with a little tickle in my throat. I called Dr. C, and his receptionist called Dr. J, and a staff member from Dr. J's office called me back. She said I should be okay, as long as I'm not hacking or have a fever or congestion in my chest. At the hospital before surgery they will check me over and the anethesiologist will make the call.

Oh man. How much would it SUCK if I get checked out and they say no? The morning of? Oh my God, that would suck. If that happened it would be another month at least until I could get in again.

Oh well, let's hope and pray this baby cold will stay little and not grow. Off to Dr. J in a couple of hours, I'll update tonight.

UPDATE: Got my hooks on. There are nothing like what I thought or what I have ever seen. They are like arch wires in a loop, sticking up. I'll post a picture later. I don't even feel them.

Dr. J is sick with a cold too and he told me I should be okay for surgery if my airways aren't constricted. I'll be checked out well before the IV goes in, he says.

He also said to me, regarding my predicted surgery results, "It's going to be a huge change. Are you prepared for that?" I said, "I think so." I mean, really, how can you prepare for a new face?

The Definition of Irony

2007-02-27T17:55:00.000-04:00

Three days before my surgery, and I don't feel like eating anything. I am eating, and eating lots, but nothing tastes right and I'm not enjoying it as much as I thought I would. Maybe I put too much pressure on myself to enjoy these meals and they aren't living up to my high expectations. Maybe it's how my nervous energy is manifesting itself. Because I still do not feel nervous, not even a little. What's weird is I felt more nervous 2 months ago than I do now.

I'm still trying to avoid The Cold Virus. Oh and Influenza A is going around too. Lovely huh?

Off to Dr. J tomorrow for my final (duh duh DUUUUH) adjustment before surgery day. I'll update then.

I'm a germ warrior

2007-02-26T09:44:00.000-04:00

My daughter is now sick. I've become fast friends with hand soap and Lysol. I've also accepted the fact that I might get sick and my surgery might be postponed. I have no control over it, though I will be bummed if it happens.

Meanwhile, I'm eating everything not nailed down. And drinking orange juice.

Wish me luck!

Washing my hands OCD-style

2007-02-24T19:46:00.000-04:00

My son is sick. Of course. He has a cold. Of course. After not being sick since December, he's now sick 5 days before my surgery. Of course.

ARGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I haven't had a cold yet this year so it'll be a miracle if I don't get this one. My daughter will likely get it next (she's been coughing) so if I don't catch it from my son I'll probably catch it from her.

*sigh*

I'm trying not to get too close to my baby but it's not easy to have him in my proximity and not love on him, hug him and kiss him. He's just too cute. Meanwhile, I'm washing my hands a lot and trying not to breath. Stay away, germs, stay away!

One week from today

2007-02-23T11:24:00.000-04:00

I feel great. Not nervous. Just EXCITED! In the next 7 days I'm going to be eating enough of my favorite foods to last a lifetime, I'm buying a new blender, doing my taxes, registering my son for school, making lists, cleaning, going shopping, and trying not to get sick. Oh and I see Dr. J on Wednesday to get the hooks on.

I AM EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!

How jaw surgery can make you develop a strong stomach

2007-02-21T16:49:00.000-04:00

Before learning about my surgery, I was just as freaked out as the next guy about the prospect of getting one's jaw cut up. Now I can think about it and talk about it like I'm thinking and talking about getting my teeth cleaned. Now I find it fascinating, what will be done to me. What's funny is sometimes I forget this fact about myself, and I unwittingly gross people out. Someone will ask what my surgery entails, and as I explain it I watch as they slowly turn white (or green) and shudder, and tell me to stop. Even my husband can't stand to hear about sawing jaws apart and screws in bones and blood. It totally skeeves him out. He has a weak stomach for blood. Whereas I can watch Grey's Anatomy surgeries or even real-life surgeries on TV and not even flinch.

With 9 days left before my surgery, I find myself overthinking. I try to destract myself but it's tough to think about anything else. I've started making lists about what to buy and what to pack. Lists make me feel a little more in control and less anxious.

Bad breath?

2007-02-19T12:49:00.000-04:00

Okay, I had this thought today. How bad will my breath be after surgery? I can imagine it will be bad between the not brushing all your teeth and the yucky dried blood in your sinuses. Yuck. Does your mouth taste all metallic afterward?

My poor husband has to sleep in the same bed with me and I'm sure I'll knock the poor guy out with my post-op breath. Not to mention anyone else I come into contact with.

I can use a rinse after surgery, right, as long as it doesn't have alcohol? Can I use Oral B minty flouride rinse?

And my Last Supper? Cheeseburger, fries AND pizza! Yay! :D

Dentists and food planning

2007-02-18T16:02:00.000-04:00

I went to the dentist for a check-up and cleaning on Friday. For the first time ever, it was an extremely positive experience (aside from forking over a $200 payment at the end--did I mention I have no dental insurance?). My last cleaning in March of last year SUCKED and it was horribly painful. This time it was a breeze. I'm seeing a new dentist now and I love the office. I liked the dentist, but he looked so familiar to me that it's still driving me crazy trying to figure out where I've seen him before. Anyway, I told him all about my surgery and after looking at my teeth, he said they were perfect (no cavities!) and he thought I'd be very happy with my surgery results. The dental hygenist said I had very little plaque and that I was doing an "excellent job" with my dental care. Overall they were very positive and supportive. I'm still waiting for someone to say "You're nuts for having this surgery" but it hasn't happened yet.

Okay. Food planning. I'm not talking about post-op liquid food. I'm talking pre-op, fattening-up food. I decided what I want to eat the last week before the surgery, which is next (!!!) week (!!!). Next Sunday, five days pre-op, I'm making a huge pot of chili. I make an awesome chili. I'll eat that for two days. Then on Tuesday, 3 days pre-op, I'm going to roast a chicken. Chicken with stuffing, mashed potatoes, carrots, gravy...mmm mmm. My favorite meal. I'll eat off that for 2 days. The night before surgery, I think I'll eat a cheeseburger and fries because I know that's what I'll crave most post-op. Or maybe pizza. I haven't decided yet.

Know what I'm worrying about now, more than anything else? Getting sick. It's the winter, I have two children, germs and viruses are rampant. My kids haven't been sick in months, which means they are due for an illness soon. If I get sick they'll cancel my surgery. I don't know if I'll be able to stand that. More waiting? More anticipating? Ugh.

Pre-surg consult, physical and pre-op clinic

2007-02-14T16:59:00.000-04:00

What a day! Left the house at 10:30 for a 11:15 appointment with Dr. C (takes a 1/2 hour to drive there). Waited in his office for a half hour, then was sent back with this very nice lady who did more x-rays, the kind where you have to stand still, bite on a thing while this machine twirls around you. Then I had an x-ray that involved placing these pointy things in my ears, which was uncomfortable. I got to see my entire skull on an x-ray...that was cool.

After x-rays, the same very nice lady did some molds on me. The important molds my OS will use to practice on (Dr. C said "I have to work on stone before I work on bone.") It wasn't bad at all, though when she took the mold out, they made this suctiony noise and I was sure my braces would come out with them. They didn't. I even joked about that happening with the lady and she laughed and said it hasn't happened yet. Note: it isn't easy to remove plaster from your braces wires. The lady also made me bite into a piece of warm wax, and that was it. Oh, and she said I was SO easy to work with. I guess some people gag, projectile vomit or smack her around when they get molds done?

Then Dr. C came in to talk to me. He stuck a tongue depressor between my teeth and looked at my bite. He explained the surgery a little more. I'm having a lefort 1 + BSSO. My surgery will take approx. 2 hours. He's going to shorten my face for me, isn't that nice? I won't even need a splint! I'll have rigid fixation. Woo hoo! He said that afterwards, when people see me from a distance, they may not recognize me. He said I won't even recognize me. I said I'm quite excited about that aspect. He said my pain was likely caused from my posturing and from straining to close my lips over my teeth. I signed a consent form giving him permission to do the surgery, and that was that.

Next, I had to see a doctor who had admitting privledges at the hospital, some woman I've never seen or met before. I had to wait 30-40 mins to get into see her, which wasn't good because my appointment was at 2:00 and I had to be at the hospital at 2:45 for pre-admission. Anyway, she asked me a whole bunch of questions about my history and medications and why I was having the surgery, and then she examined me. She weighed me (117 pounds--I lost 5 pounds in the past couple of months, somehow), she took my blood pressure (excellent), listened to my heart and lungs (heart is beating, lungs are lunging), poked at my stomach and abdomen (they're both still in there), and that was that. Off to the hospital for the pre-surgery clinic.

So I get to the hospital at around 3:00 and register. The receptionist told me to get my butt down to bloodwork because they close at 3. Wonderful. I get down there, a woman tells me they're closed, I say please, my doctor appointment ran late, I need to get this done today. While I was begging, a man came up behind me, looked at the woman I was talking to and said "NO! We can't! We're closed!". I glanced at him and he winked at me and said "I'm just giving them a hard time" under his breath. He said he'd take my blood, no problem. It was just a simple CBC. He was extremely nice. While he was tying me off and getting the needle ready, he asked me when my birthday was and when I told him, he started talking about astrological signs. I guess to get my mind off the needle. Little did he know I don't mind needles at all. I'm such a good patient! Haha.

THEN I had to go finish registering, and then go down to the pre-surg clinic, where I had to speak to a nurse in the OR wing. I was also supposed to see a dietician but I was running so late, she left for the day. Oh well. The nurse, who had a cute Newfie accent, asked me a bazillion more questions. She took my temp and checked my vitals. My heartrate was 100, which is high. But that's normal for me. She told me what to expect in the hospital, what they would feed me, what would be in my IV, etc. She told me it was sometimes easier to drink out of a sippy cup, the old kind with no spill-proof valve. I thought that was a good idea. So on the weekend I'll go to Wal-Mart and buy a sippy cup and baby toothbrush for myself. And I'll be dribbling and drooling. It's like reverting back to babyhood. Hopefully I won't need diapers too. Hell, if I drink the amount of prune juice and eat the amount of bran they want me to ingest after the surgery, I very well might.

I got home at 5, exhausted from rushing around and waiting in waiting rooms. Happy Valentine's Day!

I'm so excited to get this over with.

The Miracle of Magnesium and Omega 3

2007-02-12T14:18:00.000-04:00

I've been so anxious this month with the surgery coming up, I was about to resort to asking my doctor for some tranquilizers. Then I did some research about natural remedies to anxiety and come up with a whole lot of info on magnesium and magnesium deficiency. Very fascinating stuff. I found out I have many, many symptoms of magnesium deficiency, including migraines, TMJ syndrome, sore neck, heart palpitations, anxiety, insomnia, menstrual cramps, PMS, carb cravings, chocolate cravings, salt cravings, muscle soreness, muscle tension, tension headaches, restlessness, and panic attacks. http://www.mbschachter.com/importance_of_magnesium_to_human.htm Then I read up on omega 3 (EPA) and mood. More intesting stuff.

On Saturday I started taking 300mg of magnesium citrate, and a fish oil capsule called Omega 3 Calm (Jamieson brand), which has 530mg of EPA in each capsule. EPA is a fatty acid that improves your brain function and mental health. Fish oil is also great for your heart.http://www.mcmanweb.com/article-15.htm

I'm on day 3 of these supplements and I feel FANTASTIC. Anxiety has greatly reduced already. I feel peaceful and happy. Believe me, this is no placebo effect or a coincidence. I'm the biggest realist/critic/cynic ever and I used to think supplements were a bunch of bunk and a waste of money. Not anymore. Magnesium is like a muscle relaxer.

I haven't been worrying about my surgery at all lately. I go Wednesday for my pre-surg consult, physical, and Same-Day Admissions Clinic. I'll update then.

March 2 it is.

2007-01-30T12:01:00.000-04:00

So yesterday I was supposed to see a 2nd oral surgeon, Dr. P. But I had a heinous migraine that kept me in bed all day, vomitting, so I cancelled. Now I can't get another appointment with him until next month, which is obviously too late. I go in two weeks to get my pre-surg stuff done for the March 2 surgery. So I decided to take a leap of faith and stick with Dr. C. I want this done so bad now I can't wait longer than a month. I'm a believer that everything works out the way it's supposed to and everything happens for a reason, so there you go.

There's so much to do in the next few weeks. I have to get my taxes done and out of the way. I have to deep clean the house. I have to get my teeth cleaned. I have to get my kids to the dentist too. I have to see my doctor and ask about anti-anxiety meds so I can get some sleep and get through this month.

I'm also a believer that preparation=relaxation. I doubt I'll be relaxed, but having everything ready and taken care of will take some of the load off, I'm sure.

!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-01-26T19:15:00.000-04:00

More surgery info, and why Dr. J is missing the "flattery" gene

2007-01-24T20:23:00.000-04:00

Went to Dr. J today for an adjustment. I complained about my stainy o-rings and asked for some "smoke" ones because I had read on ArchWired that they don't stain. So she put smoke on, and now it looks like I've been eating Oreos. They're quite dark. Oh well, anything's better than piss-yellow.

I also found out exactly what I'm getting done: surgery on my upper jaw for my gummy smile, and the OS will bring my chin up and out. No lower surgery at all. I no longer have an overbite, and my teeth fit together perfectly. It just seems like the rest is mostly cosmetic! But I'm sure pain reduction will come with a harmonious (love that word) face and not having to stretch my lips over my teeth unnaturally to close my mouth. No more posturing for me!

The following is why I believe Dr. J is not a smooth-talker with the ladies. He said to me, while showing me before-braces pictures of myself:

Dr. J: "When you're chin is balanced with the rest of your face, you'll be attractive."
Me: (Dead silence)

He didn't say "more attractive" either. Gee, thanks, Dr. J. You're no stud yourself. Okay, okay. I wasn't really insulted. He's right. Dr. J doesn't sugar coat anything and I appreciate that. I know I'll be attractive with a nice smile and a chin. I don't think I'm attractive now either. I agree with him 100%.

He also said my lips were too full and my nose was too narrow, and that both will look a lot less big after the surgery. He was very clinical about all his insults. And I agreed with all of it.

So then I took my unattractive face, my huge lips, and my honkin' nose out of his office and stuffed myself on fries and gravy in the mall food court.

I'm still seeing Dr. P on Monday, even though Dr. J's receptionist told me he may be booked up 6 months in advance. I can't wait 6 months. I'd much rather 6 weeks! But alas, I will find out from Dr. P himself. Hopefully he'll go easy on the insults so I won't develop a complex.

My head is spinning, and not in a good way

2007-01-23T15:37:00.000-04:00

Okay. Remember last October when I wrote about seeing an oral surgeon (Dr. C)? About a month after that I thought, hey why not see another oral surgeon to get a 2nd opinion, and I called and asked to be notified when Dr. P (another OS) had an opening for a consult. They didn't call, so I called back last month to remind them. Then they made me and appointment to see Dr. P on Jan. 29 (Monday). Okay. Groovy.

Then Dr. C's office calls me today to give me a surgery date! March 2! First of all, I wasn't aware that I decided Dr. C would be my surgeon. Nothing against him, I liked him just fine, but I wanted that 2nd opinion. But all along Dr. C's team had been setting up these dates for me for final consult, physical, pre-admittance to the hospital, etc, etc. I told the lady who called that I wasn't sure I'd be going with Dr. C. She said okay and then asked who else I was seeing. I said Dr. P, and she said she knew he was very booked up. I said, really? Then I just told her to book me in anyway, even though I still plan to see Dr. P on Monday. I'll find out for myself how booked up he is, and when I can possibly expect surgery if I were to go with him.

Don't get me wrong. I DO want the surgery on March 2. I want to get it over with. I just want to be 100%, completely, and utterly SURE I want Dr. C to do my surgery.

What's worse is that I DO NOT KNOW WHAT I AM GETTING DONE! When I saw Dr. C a few months ago, he told me I might not have to have my lower jaw moved. Well, when will I find out??

I see Dr. J, my OD, tomorrow (my appt was pushed off last week). I am going to tell him, "Look, things are happening really fast and I'm not sure what's going on. I don't know what will be done to my jaws. I thought I could see more than one surgeon before getting a surgery date." And so on. I knew for a while that my surgery might be in March, but it snuck up really quick and I feel like I'm going into it blindly. I hate that feeling. I'm the type of person that has to know EVERYTHING so I can educate myself and be prepared. It's my skull, it's my face, and it's my bones. I should know exactly how they're going to be rearranged, correct? Correct.

When I looked at that surgery date written on piece of paper, I started to seriously freak out. It's really real now.

Noses

2007-01-11T20:36:00.000-04:00

When I look through pictures of people who have gotten the same surgery I'm getting (upper, possibly lower, genio), I'm amazed at how different their noses look when their jaws and chin are finally proportionate. It literally looks like some of them have had nose jobs, their noses look that much smaller. Crazy! I'm now wondering how my nose will look when my face is balanced correctly.

Is it shallow of me that I think more about the aesthetic changes this surgery will bring more than the REAL reason I'm getting this surgery--for pain reduction? I know it's wrong to be so comsumed with looks but sometimes I can't help it.

Progress

2007-01-07T20:56:00.000-04:00

I got the horrible bypass wire off a couple of weeks ago. Yay! It hurt like hell for a few days as my teeth went back into a straighter position though, and my Christmas turkey was hard to chew. That one crooked tooth is still crooked, but the rest of the teeth on the bottom are straight now. My top teeth are straight. No more overbite. Teeth are actually fitting together pretty well, though I still get pain and stiffness. Sooooo...I'm hopeful for that March surgery date.

I'm seeing a 2nd oral surgeon at the end of this month. Dr. P. He is pretty famous here, head of oral surgery at a university. Also, I want a second opinion on what needs to be done to me. This is my face we're talking about here--I need more than one OS's opinion. The staff at Dr. J's office totally understand.

Speaking of Dr. J and his staff, may I take a moment to say how great they are? The week before Christmas, my husband and two children came down with a bad stomach bug the day before I was due to get the horrible bypass wire off. They were all bedridden and sick the day of my appointment, and I wasn't sure if I should cancel or what. That wire was bothering me so much, I could barely stand it. Anyway, I called the office and told the receptionist that I might cancel, that it depended on how my family was feeling. She said no problem and to call them if I needed to cancel. I did end up going, and as I walked into the office, every one of them asked how my kids were doing. Somehow they all knew I had a sick family at home. They took me right in, the moment I arrived, and I got my wire changed and was out of there in 10 minutes flat. I thought that was so thoughful of them to ask about my kids and get me in and out of there as quickly as possbile so I could get back to them.

My next appointment is on the 18th and I plan to do something--anything--about these damn o-rings of mine. They stain like mad. The clear ones stain, the smoke-colored ones stain. I avoid coffee, I don't smoke, I don't eat curry, so what the heck is staining them? I thought about getting blue but if they stain they will turn green, which is worse than yellow. Then I thought of asking to have silver o-rings put on so I won't have to worry about staining at all. Would silver o-rings look really bad on clear brackets? Hmmm. How I wish I could go back in time and get metal brackets on my front top teeth instead of these blasted clear ones!

Something I read that made me think

2006-12-19T18:24:00.000-04:00

This post is on http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/orthognathicsurgerysupport/, entitled "Unexpected Quality of Life Perk". I was sitting there reading it and realized several times how much I could relate, yet it's about something I've never thought about before--ever--until reading it. It made me think, wonder, and anticipate my own post-surgical reactions.

Posted by permission:

I had upper and lower surgery. Before surgery, I always had a baby face -- no chin and a gummy smile. Like many of you, I was teased
for my looks and took quite a bit of abusive all my life because of
my appearance. I never felt like I was unattractive, just that I had
unconventional looks.

I don't know about the rest of you, but having a weak chin seemed to
have sent out signals to the general population that I was a
pushover. It seems like I had to really fight to be heard,
literally and figurativly, in the work place, in crowds, in the
classroom, basically anywhere.

In fact, I recently saw a tv ad for Fed Ex where a group of
employees are trying to discuss ways to save money. A man with a
weak jaw comes up with the solution of sending things via Fed Ex,
thus saving the company tons of money. Everybody ignores his
answer. Then, the man with the strong jaw, the man sitting at the
head of the table, repeats the exact same thing and everybody
applauds him for his good thinking.

This is exactly how I used to feel at the work place and in other
settings. In fact, I remember the exact sitation happening to me
when I worked in a health care setting where my suggestin was
ignored only to be repeated word for word by another employee. My
response at the time was, "What? Did that sound better coming out of
your mouth than it did mine?" I was used to people not taking me
seriously or dismissing me. Anyway- since the surgery, I now have a
balanced face. And I can't believe what a difference it has made in
how other people view me.

As some of you may know, I am a flight attendant. Prior to the
surgery, I was fighting a constant battle with the passengers.
Generally, if passengers were going to try and get away with
inappropriate behavior, they were going to try and pull it with me
before they'd try it with another flight attendant. I felt like I
was constantly having to keep them in line.

But now, since the surgery, my job has become a lot easier. Sadly,
I suppose it's true what the studies say about people judging us by
our looks. Now that I have a balanced profile, I think others are
percieving me to have a more commanding presence. As a result, I am
not having to work a flight and feel as though I am going through
battle with my passengers. It is amazing how much nicer people are
to me now that I have this more balanced face.

In fact, in general, I am treated much better than I ever was
before. I suppose this is sad, and it does irritate me that people
are so shallow that they allow somebody else's looks to determine
how nice they are going to be to them. But really, you can't blame
the people too much because after all,they are just human and as you
know, human beings are notorious, bless their poor little pointed
heads, for having fatal character flaws.

So for those of you who are still harboring feelings of resentment
from the past treatment you got from people, try not to let it eat
at you. It's not going to punish the general public if you are mad -
they really don't care; all it's going to do is ruin your day and
your good feelings you have for yourself. Remember, when it comes
to the general public, it all boils down to the lowest common
denominator and unfortunatly, the general public, as an entity,
isn't working with very high numbers to begin with.

And for those of you who are about to have this surgery, have fun
and enjoy the way the world percieves you. I tell you, this new
found respect that I seem to be getting from others is an unexpected
perk that I am enjoying quite a bit.

Love, Kimberly

My "bypass" wire

2006-12-13T13:37:00.000-04:00

This is the little bugger that has been bugging me for a few days now. By using pressure aided by simple gravity, it's pulling two of my teeth away from the crooked tooth. It's also pulling my two bottom teeth all off center. It looks and feels horrible! Luckily it'll only look like that until the 21st.

I have a family reunion to go to this weekend and I'm going to scare people!

See how red the inside of my lip is from this monstrosity??

December 2006--More Mouth Mess

2006-12-06T20:45:00.000-04:00

Just when I get used to the mess my mouth is in, more mess is added. Today I got what she called a "bypass" wire that is sort of shaped like a double safety pin and is supposed to force my two teeth on either side of my one very crooked tooth apart. Follow? See, I have this very crooked tooth on the bottom that she can not get the wire on. So the teeth on either side of it have to move their asses over so that the wire can go on that crooked tooth so it can be flush with the rest. Ah hell, I'll just show you a picture later. It's a mess.

Good news is, Dr. J told me I no longer have an overbite, my teeth are straightening nicely, and he's still shooting for March 2007 for a surgery date.

I also have this huge canker sore inside my lower lip that hurts like hell. And now my lower teeth hurt like hell from that bypass wire. Add that to the pain I've been feeling in my jaw muscles. If I were a horse they'd have to shoot me.

That's all for this month. A load of complaints. Oh well.

Poke, poke, poke

2006-11-08T17:04:00.000-04:00

I'm one of those masochists who pride themselves on their high pain thresholds and "toughing it out". I went through unmedicated, induced labor with my first child. I got through a cracked rib with rare complaint. I've dealt with intense pain in my jaw and migraines for years without going stark-raving mad.

But I cannot--cannot--deal with those poky little wires on my braces. You know, the ones in the back that rub sores on the insides of your cheeks whenever your braces shift. I was all proud of myself when I first got my braces because I would forgo the wax in order to produce those handy dandy callouses even quicker. In 6 months I have not used wax once. Not once! I know, I sound like one of those moms who think they are superior because they braved natural childbirth. But seriously, I want the callouses. I don't want to rely on wax.

But for the past 2 days the top wire on my right side has been poking me and dragging across my cheek whenever I open my mouth, making a nice tender sore. I'd go right to the OD to get it snipped, but as I said before it's a MAJOR pain in the arse to get in there, and I work all day and can't take too much time off. So I have to deal until Dec 6, when I go back for my regular appointment.

I'm sitting here very, very tempted to get out the wax. It's there, in the bathroom, next to my floss, calling to me, taunting me....

A question for my fellow surgery bloggers

2006-11-07T09:13:00.000-04:00

How do you guys get such good, clear pictures of your teeth? I can't figure out how to do that with my camera. I have a digital Canon...something. A 2005 model. As you can see from my pics the lighting is off and the closer I get, the more blurry it is. My husband takes the pics for me, on a close-up setting. What do you guys do?

Also, how do some of you get your x-ray pics?

November 2006--Thoughts

2006-11-05T12:50:00.000-04:00

I forgot to add in my last post that I got some springs on my arch wires to space my teeth for surgery. They look funny and they shred my floss. But hell, they're working. I can literally feel them tugging my teeth apart. Weird.

The other day I realized I could bite together properly again. For the past few months my teeth seemed to be hitting each other in an unnatural way, but now they fit together better. I can chew a bit better, though that overbite still makes it impossible to bite straight on. I have to bite everything from the side. On Halloween I tried to eat a package of Swedish Berries candy. I LOVE those. I did manage to chew them, with my very back molars. Yummy. I was very, very careful though. All in all my eating habits haven't changed much since braces. No more gum, hard bread, or nuts, but everything else is fair game. I LOVE to eat!!!

I don't have an ortho appointment this month (Dec. 6 is my next one) so for this month I thought I'd compile a list:

Braces at 30 vs. Braces at 12

Pros:

1. At 30, you don't have to go to school and hear kids call you names like "Braceface" and "Metal Mouth". (But now it may happen with your co-workers at work.)

2. At 30, you are too busy with kids, house cleaning, and work to even remember your braces half the time. ("Where's the Windex? I have to clean this mirror...Oh yeah! I forgot about those metal things in my mouth!")

3. At 30, your braces count as an interesting conversation piece. ("No, they don't pick up satellite signals.")

4. At 30, you appreciate your braces a lot more because it's not your parents mortgaging their house again to pay for them. (Now it's you)

5. At 30, you're mature enough to brush and floss properly and since you still glow under the praise of your orthodontist, there is plenty of opportunity for a good ego-stroking. ("Thanks, I take really good care of them." *insert angelic smile*)

Cons:

1. At 30, you usually have a spouse or significant other, whom you occasionally like to kiss, and braces make this difficult ("Ow! My lip!")

2. At 30, as an adult with braces, you sometimes get mistaken for a teenager. ("I'm old, I'm braced, get over it.")

3. At 30, you worry about the money and time involved with orthodontia. ("Um, how much did you say that was?")

4. At 30, you don't get the pleasure of getting an afternoon off school to go to the orthodontist. Now it's just an inconvenient pain in the ass. ("F%%king traffic!")

5. At 30, in the age of the internet, you have a newfound obsession with one thing: Google. ("Ahhh, how did we manage without it.")

One more thing. If you want a laugh, check out this guy's orthognathic surgery blog. Hilarious! http://www.thefark.com/surgery/

October 2006--The Oral Surgeon

2006-10-31T14:14:00.000-04:00

Ah yes. Finally. On October 23, 2006, the day before my 30th birthday, I met with my new oral surgeon Dr. C for the very first time. There was a $70 fee for the consultation and I intended to get my money's worth. I found a list online called "Questions to ask your surgeon" and I printed it off. I was ready.

Dr. C told me right off that I was special. I was one of the unlucky 5% of people who need this surgery. Yeah, I'm that bad off. Woo hoo! Dr. C explained the surgery to me in depth, told me exactly what to expect (a lot of which I already knew from the Yahoo group), told me the risks, and answered all my questions and more. He had me stand against the door and he looked in my mouth, felt my jaws and studied by facial bones. He didn't even get offended when I questioned his competence by asking him how many surgeries he's done. He has done lots, by the way. He also told me I'd probably be done with the surgery by summer. I was relieved.

After we spoke for a while, Dr. J came in and then he made me stand by the door, looked in my mouth and told me I still had a little ways to go with those bottom teeth (they had finally just started moving). Then he told me I may be ready for surgery by March! My jaw dropped (no pun intended). If I have the surgery in March, that means I'm halfway there.

Then the two good doctors both studied me and spoke using all these medical terms I've never heard of and conferred with each other. It felt really strange to be looked at and talked about like that, but the way they spoke to each other--and me--made me trust their judgement completely. These are two guys who seem to know what they're doing. Can I trust them with my jaws? I think so.

Time will tell though, I guess.

Update--My uncle is a doctor, and it turns out he knows Dr. C personally. My uncle says he's an excellent OS and that I'm in good hands. He also knows my OD and says he's excellent as well. How do all these doctors know each other? In any case, I feel better.

September 2006--They Ain't Moving

2006-10-31T14:09:00.000-04:00

My top teeth had moved so fast, I wasn't prepared for the loooong time it took for my bottom teeth to shift. I got a new strong titanium wire in there, and they still didn't budge. I kept waiting to feel that tingly, loose-teeth sensation that told me they were moving, and it never happened. I figured the teeth must be deeper into the bone or something. Impatient? Yes. I want to get this all over with quickly!

August 2006--Brace Yourself Again

2006-10-31T14:01:00.000-04:00

I have to go to orthodontist appointments every 5 weeks, which is hard because 1) I work Mon-Thurs 8am-5:30pm and Dr. J's office is closed on Fridays 2) His office is a a 30 min drive from here, in downtown traffic and 3) I have two kids that I must drag along with me. But I digress. It must be done.

So in August I went in for a routine wire change and they said I was ready for my bottom braces. Yay! After 3 months in my top braces, they had accomplished a lot of hard work. My overbite was a lot worse (common occurance when you're in braces in prep for surgery), but my teeth were a lot straighter. There was now lots of room for the bottom brackets. On they went, a breeze like last time. And a hell of a lot uglier! All metal this time. My bottom teeth are really crooked so the braces looked like a metal pretzel. Yuck.

Bottom braces are a lot harder to clean for me. All the food seems to settle in there. Flossing is more difficult. I had some pain the day after again, but not as bad as last time. My mouth is a MESS!

July 2006--The Greatest Resource

2006-10-31T13:55:00.000-04:00

Now that I had decided to take the plunge, I started Googling. Normally a bad idea. But it wasn't bad at all. Most of what I read was very comforting. Somehow, one day I stumbled across one of the greatest resources in existance when it comes to orthognathic surgery:

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/orthognathicsurgerysupport/

Everyone who is considering this surgery should join this site. You'll get real people who are pre-op or post-op, you can read about orthodontists and oral surgeons, you can read about recovery, you'll see hundreds of pictures. Just an invaluable resource. Because of this site, I know exactly what I am getting myself into. Education is the key.

June 2006--Takin' Care of Braces

2006-10-31T11:10:00.000-04:00

My teeth did indeed start moving right away. By week 3, I could see a difference already.

The care and cleaning of my braces, plus the diet change, proved to be a big adjustment for me. Flossing was really hard at first. I used the little floss threader for a while, but it got to be too inconvienient. I bought the Super Floss with the thick end, but found it too thick. Finally I stuck on regular old waxed floss and with a lot of practise, could floss easily in about 5 minutes.

I gave up popcorn for about a month, and then found I could eat it if I did so carefully. I gave up gum not because it stuck to my braces, but because it hurt my jaw to chew it. The only thing that really irked me, and still irks me, is that my o-rings stain like crazy. They look horrible against my clear brackets! I don't know what stains them. Tea or Pepsi maybe. I don't smoke or drink coffee or eat curry.

The first month in braces was hard. Right after I got them I caught a bad cold and on top of that, a headache, and PMS, I was quite grouchy for a while. What got me through that first week was watching an entire season of Grey's Anatomy on the computer. That, and packing. We were due to move at the end of June. For a few weeks I was too busy to think about my braces.

To my surprise, not many people even noticed them. Truth be told though, I do not come into a lot of contact with people every day. I work out of my home as a child care provider. The only people I see are kids and the occasional neighbor. Maybe if I worked outside the home it would be different. But when you're 30 and you have braces, you don't really care what people think. To me, my braces tell the world that I'm doing something about my dental problems. They say that I'm lucky to be have them and not everyone has this opportunity. They're a status symbol, in a way. I have a lot of $$$ in my mouth. It's my bling-bling, baby! Look around....it's not just teens who have braces anymore.

Late May 2006--Brace Yourself

2006-10-31T10:53:00.000-04:00

On May 30, 2006, I strutted into Dr. J's office with the attitude of "Let's get this over with." I got the financial stuff squared away with Mary, and was sent off for more pictures and some plaster molds (I hate doing those! I felt like puking). Then, I sat in The Chair. I expected Dr. J to do the bracing, but I didn't even see him at first. One of his qualified and professional staff members was going to do the job. Fine by me.

I had braces once before, when I was 11 or 12, but I barely remember it at all. Maybe because they didn't help. This time, at age 29, I figured it would be a breeze. And getting the braces put on WAS a breeze. I could only get the top ones because of the position of my two front teeth. I got 6 clear ones and the rest were metal. After she was finished she handed me a mirror and I stared in horror and resignation at my braced top teeth, all the while reminding myself that with pain and awkwardness comes beauty and a nice smile. After all, I always wanted a nice smile and here I was, doing something about it. Go me!

Dr. J took a peek at me before I left and told me I'd start feeling my teeth move within a week. And he was right. The pain the next day was excruciating. I couldn't chew any food at all and I got a monster headache. My nerves were jumping like crazy and the inside of my lip was rubbed raw from the brackets and hooks.

I suddenly remembered what a huge pain in the ass braces are. Don't even get me started on the first few days of flossing!

Early May 2006--The Problem

2006-10-31T10:28:00.000-04:00

I left that first appointment feeling totally discouraged. How were we going to afford this? My husband was supportive, but he had the same concerns. Money. But then there was my health, which he cared about even more. Me too. This was an extremely stressful time as it was. We had just bought a house!

I was on an emotional roller coaster. What could I do? I talked to my mother and mentioned casually that I might ask my father for a loan. If not, I would HAVE to find a way to pay for this myself because, bottom line, I NEEDED to have this surgery. And, bottom line again, we could not afford braces. Our mortgage was more than our rent. We had so many other bills. My teeth would have to wait.

Then a few hours after I talked to my mom, I talked to her again. My father would pay for my braces. No problem. I immediately burst into tears. I was so touched and grateful that my father would do this for me. Right away I called Dr. J's office to set up an appointment. But, just so I could be 100% sure I wanted to go through with this, I asked the receptionist to get Dr. J to call me. I had more questions. A long list, in fact. He did call me, and answered all my questions and then some. I gave the OK for the ball to start rolling.

A few days later I got my orthodontic plan in the mail. I learned that I had a Class I malocclusion: deep overbite, severe crowding, 2mm overjet, deep curve of spee, unfavorable axial inclination, maxillary transverse micrognathia, incisal misguidance, mandibular retropositioning, mandibular thrusting, severe anterior bruxing, mandibular left closing shift, severe temporomandibular joint disfunction, bilateral temporomandibular joint crepitus, micrognathia, 4mm anterior vertical maxillary excess, posterior vertical maxillary excess, steep madibular plane angle, skeletal asymmetry, dental asymmetry, and bilateral condylar osteoarthritic degeneration.

Whew. I am MESSED UP!

I also learned that because of severe skeletal disharmony and lack of favorable growth, I would require comprehensive orthodontic treatment utilizing fixed appliances for a period of 24 months:

1. 12 months of presurgical orthodontic treatment to coordinate both arches
2. This will be followed by orthognathic surgery with splinting (6 weeks). The patient will be on a soft diet during this period but will not be immobilized
3. Finally, a 11 month period of post-surgical orthodontic treatment will be necessary to complete the alignment of the teeth and retaining of the surrounding tissue

The man had a plan.

April 2006--Dr. J Tells It Like It Is

2006-10-31T09:55:00.000-04:00

On April 25, 2006, I went to see Dr. J, a well-known orthodontist in Halifax. I'd scoured his site beforehand, read up on his credentials, and was very impressed. He's in the RCD (Royal College of Dentists) and that's nothing to sneeze at. He is widely known for his treatment of TMJ disorders, among other things. I knew this was the kind of guy I needed.

So I went in for a (free) consultation, got some x-rays, pictures, the works. At the end, my face and x-rays came up on this computer screen so that I could see with my own eyes what was wrong with me. Dr. J met me in the consultation room and we went over it all. Right away, just by looking at my face, he told me I could really benefit from the surgery. Like the dental assistant said, I was an excellent candidate. Dr. J told me that he'd had the surgery himself, so I knew he must know a lot about it. And he does.

We went over my x-rays together. Dr. J was the first doctor ever to actually pinpoint the reasons for my pain. Literally pinpoint, on that computer screen that showed my joints and jaws. I saw how my TMJ joint was worn down into a cone shape. I saw how my jaw joints were too far away from my ear canals. I saw my overbite. I saw that little tiny nerve that my jaws are hitting against but shouldn't be. I literally saw and understood--for the very first time--why I was having pain there. It was a huge "ah ha" moment.

I was told if I didn't have my jaws fixed into a harmonious position, I would eventually have to deal with arthritis of the jaw, root canals, gum disease, among other unsavory effects. I knew something had to be done.

Then, after all my questions were answered except for one (prices!), Dr. J got out the pricing chart. That is a list of prices for orthodontic treatment as set by the Canadian Dental Association. It went from non-severe (around $3000) to very severe (around $10,000). It turned out I was more on the severe side ($7800). Just my luck.

The financial consultant, Mary, came in to talk to me. She outlined the fee and told me exactly what it would cover. She told me what MSI (my provincial health plan) would cover (it turns out that only covers the surgery itself). I don't have dental insurance, so the price quoted to me was the price I would have to pay. I was told about the payment plan, which for me worked out to be $262.50 a month. For 24 months of treatment. This incuded braces, all appointments, and retainers. For someone in debt, whose husband's pay went to rent and bills and his debt, and my pay being only $400 a month, this payment was high. Not to mention we were in the midst of buying a house at the time!

That first visit with Dr. J was a huge eye-opener for me. I had a lot to think about.

March 2006--Introduction. The Journey Begins.

2006-10-31T09:44:00.000-04:00

On March 14, 2006, I went to the dentist for a cleaning and to ask about treatment for my TMJ syndrome, which I'd been dealing with for about 6 years at that point. The dentist didn't have much to say, but it was his assistant that mentioned orthognathic surgery to me. I didn't know what that was, but when she mentioned what it entailed, I remembered that I had heard of the surgery itself, but didn't know what it was called. Anyway, she said I looked like an excellent candidate for it. So I asked the dentist to refer me to an orthodontist so I could find out more.

All the while this was happening, my husband and I were trying to get preapproved for a mortgage. Very busy time!